Saturday, June 28, 2008

MIKE FRANCESA AT HOME: A PORTRAIT

After a tumultuous week with speculation around the breakup of Mike and the Mad Dog, Mike Francesa sits at home on Saturday, enjoying his weekend. As he reads the Daily Racing Form and handicaps the Grade I Mother Goose, his kids frolic outside around the pool. Their skin has taken on an almost pasty quality. Most likely due to the copious amounts of Bullfrog sunblock that was applied by their father. As Roe fixes Mike's midday meal, she reminds their Trinidadian nanny to keep a close eye on the young ones. She is preparing a nice little salad for him. First she puts Romaine and Butter lettuce in and then she throws on a few toppings - sprouts, cheddar cheese, hard-boiled egg, avocado, ham, bacon bits, sausage crumbles, fried cream cheese squares and half a bottle of Ranch dressing. Springstein's album The River plays in the background. Mike puts down the DRF and moves to the 2008 NFL Media guide. He skims through the pages until he finds the Week 1 schedule. After pouring over all the matchups, he grabs a notepad and writes 'Play for Pay' at the top. Then he jots down what he thinks the betting line will be for each game. His cell phone starts vibrating. He picks it up and sees a '203' area code and 'New Canaan' on the caller ID. He puts the phone down and leans back for his afternoon nap.

2 comments:

gabagool said...

Haaaa!!!

Perfect. Except YOU KNOW, he looks in the full length mirror and thinks, You know, I'm not THAT fat.


As his "wife" googles "excuses for not having sex" on the computer.

Brian said...

HAHAHA "fried cream cheese"

Brilliant. He needs his 20 oz. bottle of Diet Coke, too!!