Thursday, May 28, 2009


We all know the terminology that Mike Francesa uses on a regular basis, but sometimes we need to stop and make note of it. We think this is especially important since he has been solo for 9 months now. Without a partner, there is a good chance his vocabulary has changed, with new words entering the mix and others fading into obscurity. Here are entries into the Francesalingua:

Bizarre – Francesa has been using this a lot recently, especially after the Mets win a game. Using 'bizarre' is his way of diminishing the Mets, but it also is an admission that he is at a loss for words at how they can defy him.

I understand – I don’t remember this as much when Dog was around. He must use this because he has no partner to argue with him. So he has to create a phantom debater, eg. "I understand the economy is bad." The usage is very similar to ‘this whole idea’ or 'the whole notion'(See the glossary on the right for 'whole notion' definition).

No question - When Mike asks a question of an interview subject, then answers it himself, then waits for subject to agree and finishes with "no question" cementing the fact that there indeed was no question ever asked ("absolutely" is another form of "no question")

Canonize - This term is applied to the Mets solely when they are high on a young prospect - as in "the Mets canonized Murphy". However, this term will never be applied to the Yanks. You will never hear "the Yanks canonized Hughes and Kennedy."

Folks - Folks is used to address the callers and listeners of Mike'd Up. If you listen closely the way mike says it, it sort of has a condescending tone to it.

Gamer - These are guys Mike would go to war with any day and divorce Roe for in a heartbeat...Youk, Jeter, the entire Phillies offense, etc. Sorry. No Mets allowed.

We welcome more entries into the updated Francesa lexicon.

(Editors note: This is a joint joint between FTLT and gman26)

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Francesa Cleansing

These past few days I have been away and unable to listen to "Mike'd Up, Francesa on the Fan, show that used to be compelling with Chris Russo" or whatever you'd like to refer to it as. And I must say, removing myself from Mikey for this short period of time is really a breath of fresh air. I don't find myself constantly having to get into a car by 1:04 or pause my TIVO when I need to take a piss. In short, my life doesn't quite seem to revolve around tuning in for the big man's take on the day's events. I'm not going to lie - there have been times the past two days where I sat around thinking "I wonder what Mike is saying right now." But with the passage of time, those moments are few and far between. I would imagine this is much like doing some crazy colon cleansing procedure. It rids your body of unnecessary toxins. And so now that my body has been rid, I am ready to poison it once again. So fill me in on what has gone down the past few days on America's #1 rated sports talk show on the planet...

Friday, May 22, 2009


While we hammer away at Mike for his consistent arrogance and one-note drudgery, we sometimes miss the forest for the trees. If you really get down to it, Mike is an underrated wordsmith. On a daily basis, Francesa adroitly uses a potent mix of imagery, idioms and descriptive language. I've typed up some of his words from the first two segments:

'stand tall', 'crawling', 'swept aside', 'hammered', 'on the shelf','big thumpers', 'thunderbats', 'bloom is off the rose', 'full to the brim', 'red carpet invitation in solid gold', 'take him for a spin', 'double him to death', 'three ring circus'

I'm not saying he's Oscar Wilde or anything, but the fact of the matter is that he's very good at painting a picture of the day in sports. Sometimes that picture is a little crooked and potentially fraudulent. But it is interesting to look at nonetheless.

Please add any other turns of phrase uttered by the Pope of Letters today.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

New Starts

We here at Mike and the Mad Blog are happy to announce a relationship with the newly formed Don't confuse them with These guys split from the latter site and created their own message boards. They reached out to us today asking if we'd like to cross promote each other. And they have sent a good deal of traffic our way today. So we would like to return the favor. They differ from us in that they are a message board site. These guys seem like good dudes looking for a fresh start. Who doesn't like new beginnings? If Mike and Chris can start over, why can't we? Check them out at

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


Chris: Anddddd Gooood Afternooon Everybody on this beautiful May day. ROW in Albany piggybacking. And how are you today Mike?

Mike: Fine.

Chris: Well Mike lots to talk about today. The Mets continue to be an enigma. You want to get excited about the

Yanks? Okay, but can they play a few good teams first? Where do you want to start Mike?

Mike: Wherever.

Chris: This idea that the Orlando Magic could win this series.

Mike: Dog, we got to start with the finale of American Idol.

Chris: Excellent point Mike!

Mike: Listen, they put on a great show last night, with Rod Stewart and Queen and Lionel and...

Chris: Ahh could ya please with the cursing Fergie? Come on.

Mike: Ryan, as always, does a great job hosting.

Chris: Excellent job Mike, excellent job.

Mike: Folks, if you think that Kris Allen is our American Idol then you're kidding yourself. Now I understand America was in a tricky spot with the rumors of Adam being gay and no question that hurt him a little. I understand the economy is bad. I understand Kris had more votes last week. But folks, Adam is a gamer.

Chris: TERRIBLE JOB by America Mike. TERRIBLE JOB! I mean this whole idea that Krissy is somehow better than Adam is absurd.

Mike: Listen folks, before we canonize Kris Allen, remember these guys who have fundamental flaws like Reuben Studdard and David Cook. Adam should have won this thing. And then we have to listen to the new golden boy sing that awful song that Kara wrote.

Chris: Pipe down Kara. Timmy could write a better song than that. And another thing Mike, do I need these girls running around naked on stage? I mean could ya please? I got Jeannie and the kids watching and I got these girls with nothing on.

Mike: Kris Allen cannot beat Adam Lambert. I'm sorry folks but that just can't happen. But listen FOX did a nice job with the show. Roe and I got a kick out of it. And listen they did a nice job with the broadcast so I'm not going to kill them, but how in the world do we NOT hear from the judges after the results! I mean COME ON FOX!!!! How do I not hear from Simon Cowell what he thought! Where's the postgame show?

Chris: Excellent point Mike. Excellent point.

Mike: I mean c'mon FOX! And listen I know Simon has been on a nice run, but how does he NOT come out to argue that CALL!!! Folks, they didn't just take a point off the board here, they robbed Lambert. How does Simon not protect his guy!!!! And there are reports of individuals making up to 100 text votes by themselves? If Fox doesn't clean up this competition, then it's going to be as relevant as the NHL. I already have to put up with Matt Vasgersian and Jeannie Zelasko. Now I have to put up with a voting system that is corrupt?

Phony'd Up

I am about halfway through Mike's interview with Jerry Manuel and not that this is some revelation but it is amazing how phony Francesa is during these interviews with managers. Is this the same Francesa who we have listened to blasting Manuel and the Mets all week? Mike gets on the air the past few days and screams about Manuel pinch hitting for Murphy, not challenging the Church call, turning his back on Church, etc, etc, etc.. He brings on Eddie Coleman throughout the week and attacks the Met beat reporter for these decisions as if Eddie C was pulling the strings. But when Jerry comes in, Mike calmly switches into "soft" mode - like he's talking to his old buddy Parcells on a football Sunday. Mike, you consistently challenge the Mets for showing no heart, no edge, no toughness - for not coming through in a big spot. Well, after listening to most of this Jerry Manuel report, those same things could be said about you. Here's your chance to channel Lt. Kaffe from A Few Good Men and thunder away at Jerry like he's Jessep on the stand. But instead you come off looking like Louden Downey. You needed a trial lawyer to help you through that interview.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

First Name Basis

Just caught a few minutes of Mike talking about "Tom." In case you are wondering who that is, it would be Mr. Brady. And it just occurred to me that there is no greater sign of respect from Francesa than when he refers to you on a first name basis. Consider the following examples:

- Tom (Brady)
- Bernie (Williams)
- Joe (Torre)
- Mariano (Rivera)
- Tino (Martinez)
- Manny (Ramirez)
- Omar (Minaya)
- Eli (Manning)

Conversely, consider these people for whom Mike doesn't quite adore and how he refers to them:

- Wright (David)
- Reyes (Jose)
- Delgado (Carlos)
- Manuel (Jerry)
- Dog (Chris Russo)
- Ortiz (David)
- Lee (David)
- Robinson (Nate)
- Girardi (Joe)

These are just a few examples. Now I know what you are thinking - what about the JDYB factor? That would be the Jeter-Duncan-Youkilis-Brosius factor: 4 guys Mike has the ultimate respect for, but refers to the by their last names. Just chalk this up to the margin of error that you would see in statistical polling...what does this all mean? Nothing really but it just seemed like time for a new post....


Haven't listened to a word today. I'm in a Mike bores me stage. Anyone care to fill us in on today's show?

Monday, May 18, 2009


I am still tired of Mike, but today's open forces me to give him some props. I mean you gotta hand it to him. It's not like he praised the Mets and Yankees and said they had no problems after they both won weekend series. No, this guy opened up his radio show, in the middle of the studio with a loaded, nickel-plated can of whoop ass. I'll get off the paraphrasing of Lt. Caffee after hearing of Markinson's death. But this is why we love/hate Mike Francesa so much. His lies, his exaggerations, his hypocrisy, his accuracy, his negativity, his arrogance, his nastiness. All of these traits are below in excerpted clips from the first two segments of the show:

-"No wonder Steve Phillips never won here." - You mean besides the World Series trip? Granted, Phillips' suggestion to trade Beltran was absurd, but he was the GM during one of their most successful periods.
-"What I want answered is why Reyes didn't pinch hit?" Well, Mike. You can ask Jerry Manuel that same question when he's on with you during his weekly spot. Now, I seem to remember Mike saying that Manuel might not be on this week because of the road trip. Even so, if this is such a burning question, then it can wait a week.
-"He doesn't like Castro. He doesn't like Church." Another excellent opportunity for Mike to ask the Met manager about his hate for his two players.
-"Morgan parachutes in here." - Joe Morgan is definitely old-school, but not to that extent.
-"You pinch hit Murphy with a Minor leaguer!" - Ok. So maybe Pagan is a bit of a Quadruple AAA player, but he has played in 181 Major League games over three years, so it's not his first trip around the block.
-"The Mets have sold Murphy like crazy" and "they have canonized him." Below the various definitions for canonize. I don't see anything below that fits that definition in regards to the hype around Daniel Murphy. I have a feeling Gregg Jeffries wins that award.
  1. To declare (a deceased person) to be a saint and entitled to be fully honored as such.
  2. To include in the biblical canon.
  3. To include in a literary canon.
  4. To approve as being within canon law.
  5. To treat as sacred; glorify.


We have done predictions for Mike's talking topics on a day after big sporting events. This is no different in that we will solicit your answers as well.

1. First topic will combo the Yanks and Mets - "...Franceser on the Fan. Well, a good weekend for both area baseball teams."

2. Then a segue to Yanks three-straight walk off wins - "Maybe, just maybe, this will inject a little juice into the new Yankee stadium. This past weekend might just have put some life into this stadium, which before was like a morgue."

3. Mets win 3 out of 4 from Giants - "So the Mets(voice very unenthusiastic)took care of business in San Francisco with big offensive performances from Wright and Beltran, until they were shut down by Matt Cain last night. Pelphrey blew their chance to sweep with his three bawwlks. (starts chuckling) After the last bawwlk, (more laughing) he kicks the cleat cleaner(laughing) and almost falls down(more laughing). But hey, let's give the Mets a little credit. They have won 12 out of their last 16. Although the NL East is a bad division. " Continues on with any praise of the Mets qualified by minor criticism.

As an aside, how quickly into Russo's show will he bring up the Giants losing 3 out of 4 to the Mets? That was the one great thing about Russo being on the Fan. Since he was doing a New York show, he could only talk so much about the SF Giants before he realized that no one cared.

Also, who was listening to the ESPN broadcast last night? Terrible job out of them. First they spend 3 innings on the old story about who is the leader of the Mets. Then Steve Phillips brings up the Trade Reyes talk from 'New York talk radio'. I'm not a fan of Joe Morgan, but he clearly cut through all the bullshit and totally dismissed trading Reyes, Wright or Beltran for that matter. Wondering if Francesa was listening and will he bring this up.

Please give us your predictions for Mike's starting lineup ordered 1-3.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Dog Days

Perhaps there will never be a reunion between Mike Francesa and Chris Russo. But I think if you ask most longtime WFAN listeners, they would clamor for the duo to put aside their differences and join forces once again. But could it ever happen? Neil Best had a good interview with Russo the other day. For those that missed it, take a look below at some of Doggie's comments. Sure he points out some of the things he doesn't miss about WFAN, but it certainly sounds to me that he feels nostalgic about his old gig. I can't go too crazy with the idea that he's happy at SIRIUS/XM talking Nebraska football and Carolina Hurricanes hockey. Sounds to me like he misses the pace and the fervor of the FAN time slot he shared with Francesa for almost 20 years. But what's your take? Here's Neil's story:

Chris Russo misses local slant, but likes new life
Neil Best

For most New York sports radio listeners, Chris Russo's trademark cackle is but a memory - other than in those spot-on imitations by WFAN's Craig Carton.

It is a reality Russo knew he was accepting when he left the FAN for Sirius XM, a pay satellite service with 18.6 million subscribers nationwide but a far lower profile among tri-state fans than WFAN.

Still, Russo said Wednesday that while he does not regret the move and enjoys many aspects of his new gig, he sometimes misses the impact of being on a local, 50,000-watt powerhouse.

"There are times, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it,'' he said, a feeling more pronounced now than in the fall because of the national scope of the NFL.

The baseball is so much more local. Those are the days where you definitely feel a little pang, like, 'Boy, Mike [Francesa] has got to be at Citi Field today, or Mike's got to be at Yankee Stadium.'

"I guarantee you when the Mets and Yankees first play [June 12] I will definitely sense it, because I won't be part of that. There are times you miss that.''

He added, "When the Yankees are [losing], I have to assume fans are more attuned to what Mike is saying, or Kay than myself. I do feel that pang. Not all the time, but I've felt it.''

As for Francesa, he said, "I don't care if you had the worst divorce in your life. When you're married to someone for 19 years there is going to be an element of that marriage you'll miss,'' he said.

"That byplay between me and Mike, I miss that occasionally," Russo said. "I can't deny it. But overall, I don't have any regrets.''

Francesa still has neither hired a new sidekick nor ruled out doing so eventually. The urgency has been eased by the fact his ratings have held up well.

What about Russo's? There are none on satellite radio, and Sirius XM says there is no reliable way to measure his audience.

Instead, Russo said his feedback comes mostly from callers. There are more of them than in the early days of "Mad Dog Unleashed,'' which premiered eight months ago Friday, but Russo estimated 70 percent still come from the tri-state area.

The best part of the new job, he said, is the freedom he has to discuss what he wants and go where he wants, including a number of road trips that never would have happened at WFAN.

"Nobody looks over my shoulder and tells me I can or cannot do this or that,'' he said.

From 2 to 7 Wednesday he covered a broad range of topics and took calls from Manhattan to Maui. He led with Magic-Celtics - On Dwight Howard: "Keep your big, fat trap shut!'' - but he dealt with the Mets and Yankees and had guests from Charles Barkley to Ed Olczyk to Len Berman.

"One thing I don't miss is nine million calls a day about whether Joba should be in the rotation,'' he said. "Or nine million calls in the wintertime about how the Mets have to sign Manny Ramirez.''

With only four ad breaks per hour, Russo has the luxury of more time, but that puts a greater burden on his voice, which gave out for a week in November. He said he did a "terrible job'' of taking care of himself but now is more careful.

Russo's deal is believed to be worth $3 million a year, but Sirius XM has been in a precarious financial state. Is he concerned?

"I think we're going to make it,'' he said. "I don't go to work every day wondering if this place is going to collapse. And don't forget, CBS Radio ain't doing that great, either. If we're doing bad we've got a lot of company.''

"Mad Dog Radio,'' for which he is executive producer, now is a 24-hour sports talk outlet. He said he would give himself a better grade for doing that part of his job than for his own show.

Meanwhile, at his old home, he is gone but not forgotten.

Russo said he had heard about Carton's imitation but not heard much of it himself.

"I don't think it's malicious," he said. "I take it as a compliment.''

Friday, May 15, 2009

Friday on the FAN

Thanks to GMan for taking us down memory lane yesterday. Good stuff by them in just a year. Even with FTLT playing Tipper Gore, I think this blog has excellent content and great feedback from readers.

I expect a very lovey-dovey show today. Preakness is running, NY baseball teams are winning and we have two NBA Game 7's on Sunday. Not a lot to complain about although I'm sure we'll get the requisite complaints about:

1. Yankee stadium seating, pricing and shutting out the downtrodden
2. NYM bullpen
3. Reyes flamboyant, non-Jeteresque playing style
4. CC not throwing enough no hitters and Texeira not leading the league in helping old ladies across the street

Aside from all that, we'll probably get Barkley on, some horse trainers, Eddie C. and Sweeny and everyone will have a good old fashioned love-in. Should be nice.

I was thinking, though, that instead of Mike and Barkley talking about screen and rolls, home court advantage, Paul "Clutch" Pierce, the Black Mamba and Artest it would be nice if we could spend some time on Pau Gasol. Now I have no idea what kind of playoffs he's been having but I do know that he's doing a great impersonation of this guy. I wonder if he croons "A Pair of Brown Eyes" at home? Anyway, looking at that mug over the past few days it got me remembering an old Vescey column from the 80's that featured a piece on Paul Mokeski. Paraphrasing here, but what he said was, "Even when Mokeski plays well, he still looks bad. Someone should put a hand in face and leave it there." Classic stuff from a classic writer. When's his Gasol piece coming?

Then, Mike will go on and on about the filly tomorrow as Gman previously alluded to on this here blog. He'll have his theories and he'll listen to some others and it'll be all very coma inducing for 98% of his listening audience. Basically, typical Mike on a racing day. I will grant him this, however...At least he won't spout the nonsense that R. Reilly puked all over his column today. No freaking way it's getting linked here so if you want a nice queasy feeling later on today, find and read it.

All in all, I expect an upbeat show with NY baseball fans calming themselves down and patting each other on the back.

Happy Friday and I hope you all win your trifectas tomorrow.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009


It's been a year since we put up our first post on Over the past 365 days, we've had a lot of ups and downs, including a one-sided fight with, a mention of the blog on the airwaves with Russo, body language analysis, a bucket list, a reading list, play-by-play of Wilt's 100-point game, an interview with Neil Best, a breakup of the names that define this blog, proclamations by our readers that this blog was dead(they were half-right) and we've added a new contributor(Awesome Sean).

Just like ARod couldn't remember things when he was young, we all probably can't quite remember May 14th, 2008. So FTLT and I have put together a time capsule of what was going on this time last year.

- The Mets sat in 3rd place at 20-18

- Tampa Bay Rays were 79 days away from being taken seriously

- Mets core consisted of Wright, Reyes, Beltran and Delgado

- Tony Bernazard was about to be public enemy #1 in NY

- Homeland security threat level was Yellow

- The Yanks were in 4th place at 20-21

- Joba was a reliever

- Syesha Mercado is eliminated from American Idol leaving David Archuleta and David Cook in the final.

- Eli Manning was getting a free meal somewhere

- It was Israel’s 60th birthday

- Unlike Rachel Alexandra, the filly Eight Belles was not alive enough to enter the Preakness

- Arod was on Boli

- Hillary Clinton beats a certain Illinois senator in the West Virginia primary

- Sue Simmons apologized for using the F-word on air

- Bronson Arroyo was 2-4 with a 6.09 ERA

- That McLouth kid was hitting .304 with 10 homers

- US Dept. of Interior listed the polar bear as a threatened species under the Endangered Species Act (ESA)

- Gabagool was our only commenter

- banned gman26’s IP address

- Mike and Chris were happy partners

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Many time, long time readers of this blog know that we love our Few Good Men quotes. But today we're going the way of Mel Brooks and Blazing Saddles. After listening to the early parts of today's show, I'm starting to feel like Madeline Kahn's Lilli Von Shtupp. Francesa is like a broken record. The same old shit every day. Bash the Mets, talk about Yankee Stadium, have on boring guests, say "I understand that the economy is bad", etc, etc.

In some senses it's boring that I'm writing another boring post about how boring Mike'd Up Francesa on the Fan is. But what can you do? There is no Sheriff Bart to come and rescue Mike. Apparently, he has successfully resisted all overtures for a co-host. Instead, we are consigned to a daily dose of retread opinions and long-standing biases spoken in an unenthusiastic delivery from a man who is clearly bored at the sound of his own voice.

Maybe I'm just having a bad day. Maybe Francesa will charm me back with ratings talk(where the hell has that been anyway?) or discussing the filly's chances this weekend. But for now, I'm just tired.

The Repeat Caller

I just listened to a certain caller complaining to Mikey about Daniel Murphy. I am quite certain that this same caller phoned in to Joe and Evan this morning with the exact same phone call (please ignore the fact that somehow I know this). These types of callers have always amazed me. Do you really need to call in to multiple shows on the same radio station on the same day with the same exact argument? It's like when Lt. Galloway objected and then strenuously objected. We got the point the first time. This is almost worse in my mind than the "I'll hang up now and listen" or the "Mike, remember me, I called in 1998 telling you that Sosa and Mac were on steroids" call. We have talked here in the past about callers that bother you the most. Which irritates you more than any other?

Monday, May 11, 2009

What We Have Learned Today

We have learned that the Yankees taking 2 of 3 from Baltimore is the lead story today in the New York baseball scene. We have learned that Girardi can't have it both ways when it comes to Joba's fist pumps. We have learned that Mike is still not happy with this Yankees team. We have learned that John Sterling never gives the score of the game. We have learned that when calculating the average age of the Red Sox, you can't include the 40-year-olds Wakefield and Smoltz, but you can include the 22-year-old Masterson. We have learned that Mike never expected Gardner to hit at the big league level. We have learned that Mike thinks Hughes has been somewhat disappointing. We have learned that Mike uses the word "core" far too much. We have learned Sabathia pitched a "gem" this weekend. We have learned that Mike uses the word "gem" too much. We have learned Nate McLouth's career is a waste because he plays for a terrible Pirates team. We have learned that Melky has looked a lot better at the plate this year. But we have also learned that Mike would love to pry that McLouth kid loose from Pittsburgh. We have learned that Damon's homer was far bigger than Arods. We have learned that for a person whose sole job it is to watch New York sporting events, Mike often ends up "missing that play" cause he was in transit. We have learned the Lakers will beat the Rockets. We have learned that no one is going to beat the Cavs. What we have not learned yet as of 2:19PM is if Mike Francesa is aware of another New York baseball team that has won 7 games in a row - a team that Mike left for dead a week ago...

Friday, May 8, 2009

Booed Up

Few things bother Mike more than unnecessary celebrations, uncalled for fist pumps and badly announced games, but I'm quite certain that nothing gets under Francesa's skin more than the great Mariano being booed on his homefield. And last night that's exactly what happened. After allowing back-to-back homers to the Rays, the Yankee Stadium crowd let Mariano know how unhappy they were. By doing so, Yanks fans may have shifted the universe in Francesa's mind. For fans of the show LOST, this for Mike, is the equivalent of when Ben moved the island and time was thrown off. All hell broke loose. And I have a feeling that all hell is going to break loose today on Mike'd Up. Boo the bullpen. Boo Teixeira. Boo Cano. Boo Burnett. Boo Sabathia. But do NOT boo the great Mariano. This is what I think is coming today. Although I could be wrong and Mike just might make this show all about Yankee Stadium being a joke and a bandbox. He very well might go that route and deflect attention from Rivera coming up small in a very big spot. It should be interesting...

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Mike's Kryptonite

When this blog was first created, one thing I never thought I would do was write a post that included the names Mike Francesa and Superman in the same paragraph. But here goes. We all know about Superman and more importantly, we know that the caped superhero was vulnerable to kryptonite. Exposure to the mineral debris weakened and had the potential to kill him. So what does this have to do with the host of the number 1 ranked sports talk radio show in the country? Not much really. But it got me thinking that every person has something that can nullify their powers and debilatate them. For Superman, it was the radioactive material from Krypton. So what exactly then is Mike Francesa's kryptonite? Anyone that has followed Francesa and the New York baseball scene this week has noticed signs of cracks in the big man's foundation. But what exactly is the perfect storm of events that would bring Francesa to his knees - what is his krpytonite? After careful consideration, we have determined the following things all occuring would be his undoing:

- David Wright delivers a game-winning walk off hit 3 days in a row
- YES does a video montage of Joba's 12ks to the song "You're Simply the Best"
- Reading Bronson Arroyo's line from last night: 1.0 IP, 81.00 ERA, 10.00 WHIP
- Andy Pettitte changes his name to Andrew
- Michael Kay's show beats Mike'd Up in the ratings
- Daniel Murphy goes 6 games without misplaying a ball
- The expensive seats at Yankee Stadium remain unoccupied
- The Yanks reacquire Farnsworth and Hawkins to solidify the bullpen
- Jon Heyman and Omar Minaya stop taking Mike's calls
- Sweeny Murti and Eddie Coleman attack Mike instead of vice versa
- Saratoga Racetrack issues a press release saying that due to the economy they are shutting down
- Chris Russo reveals his new friendship with Bill Parcells
- Tom Coughlin informs Mike that no one uses the term "max protect" anymore
- Diet Soda vending machine at WFAN breaks down

We're quite certain that these events all transpiring around the same time would have the same effect on Francesa that kryptonite has on Superman. But what did we miss?

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Mike's Nightmare

I am pretty sure this will be a totally Yankeecentric show. Mike is going to come out firing at the boys from the Bronx. No one will be safe as he turns both barrels on the front office, manager, coaches and the whole dang roster. o - 5 against the hated Sawx? Inexcusable! Inconceivable! I mean, come on, some of those guys are playing haard out there. The true Yanks like Capt. America, Cano (new addition), Andy and Mo are busting their tails out there! These mercenaries aren't worth the paper their contract's been written on, so far. The Yanks core is intact and showing the grit and hustle that wins games! These guys don't know what being a Yankee is about! They better learn or the Yanks will just swallow their mistakes, eat the $400 MM and find guys who know what this tradition is all about!

Across town, on the other hand, is a bunch of lucky prima donnas who are lucky they play in an inferior division in an inferior league. They have no grit at all. No dirty uniforms and not enough edge! Delgado is obviously unable to perform under the bright lights of this city, Wright can't hit in a big spot and Luis Castillo kicks dogs and trips old people.

GMan, I think all of this will save us from much on Favre, thankfully. Also, the NBA is not compelling enough yet so I bet we get wall to wall NY baseball today. Starting with the poor play of the Yanks before moving to the luck of the Mets and Sawx. This is gonna be fun!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Cold Water Express

I caught just a few minutes of Mike'd Up today while in my car. But that little time was classic Francesa. For any Mets fan feeling a bit positive about last night's game in Atlanta, Mikey tossed some cold water on the Amazins victory. So after setting up the fact on Monday that the Mets had a huge 2 game series in Atlanta this week (where he pointed out that they are awful), Mike mostly dismissed last night's game by telling us that Atlanta isn't a good team. And that John Maine walked 6 batters. And that the Mets don't know what they are doing with Oliver Perez. And that Jose Reyes has only scored 10 runs this season. And that Ryan Church is going to lose his job to Sheffield. And that Daniel Murphy still can't play left field. And that this Japanese pitcher ain't going more than 5 innings. And that Jon Niese isn't pitching well in the minors. God knows what the big man would have said had the Mets lost last night. Thanks for providing some clarity today Mikey.

Best Weekend of the Year (Delayed)

Some people think it's Masters Weekend, others think it's the start of the NCAA tournament and still others think it's NFC/AFC Championship weekend. Me? I think it's the first Saturday in May. Baseball is in full swing, the Derby is on and there's usually a big fight. This past weekend fit that bill and it was as badass as ever.

Mets played the Phils, Yanks played Anaheim, the Derby was run and Manny Pac laid waste to my beloved Hitman. All in all, a better weekend could not be had for a sports fan.

I missed most of Mike's show yesterday so I don't know what he touched upon. Did he spend time on the A-Rod book? Did he speak about the NYY comeback on Friday night? Was it a seminal moment? Does he anticipate a coming together for the team? Did he deride the Mets performance on Saturday and question the Perez signing again? I'm pretty sure he spent time on the Derby. Did he give the winner credit or did he call it a fluke. Did he offer any insight that only an "insider" could provide? Did he even mention Manny Pac? Did he know there was a fight?

Now it's Tuesday and the Mets played a good game and the Yanks played a poor one will his opinions change? Is it nice to see Tex break out of his slump even though the Yanks are now 0-4 against the Sawx? Will be blast the Yanks for locking paying fans out of the game even though the stadium was at about 35% capacity?

Will he give Heyman a spot today so he can spread some more news on various Boras clients including this guy?

Friday, May 1, 2009

Ellipticall'd Up

I spent the last 40 minutes at the gym watching - make that trying to watch Mike'd Up while riding the Eliptical machine. Watching Francesa while working out is sort of a weird experience. I usually enjoy it because it makes the workout go by faster. But today was the extreme opposite. As soon as I entered my cardiac information, plugged my headphones in and found the YES Network, I was welcomed by Mikey interviewing someone from the Daily Racing Form. I mean I totally expected the customary horse racing spots today, but did they have to time it that I get some dude from the DRF at the onset of my workout? So what was I to do? Naturally I changed the channel. I landed on the Family Feud. Can you name the 4 most glamorous cities in the world, according to 100 people on the street? I will give you a hint as to one of them - it's a city that Mike often points to in analyzing the outcomes of sporting events...Anyway, I watched the father/son combo of Herb and Herbie (no joke) botch the $10,000 round. Name a place that you go to that's always crowded? Herbie went with the ballpark. Unfortunately only two people agreed. How about a country that starts with the letter "S"? Herb went with the Soviet Union. Zero people concurred. In case you are wondering, Spain was the number one answer. Herb squared ended up with a total of 126 points, 74 short of the promised land.

Anyway, with the Feud over, it was time to get back to Francesa. Horse racing talk must be over right? Wrong. Tom Hammond from NBC Sports was on. I learned that Mike is not comfortable with the surface at the Derby. It's probably a good thing then that he's actually not racing on it. I also learned more than I ever wanted to about turf tracks. Time to switch the channel. I briefly ended up on some VH1 reality show with some hot girls walking around practically naked. I kind of wanted to leave it on this show but there was a girl next to me on another eliptical and somehow I felt dirty and sleazy watching this show, as if I was viewing porn in a public place. Next up was SNY, which was airing the Mets first home game after 9/11. As a Mets fan, I miss that team. Fonzie, a juiced up Piazza, Ventura, Bobby V, Bruce Chen...okay, maybe I don't miss Bruce Chen. It was early in the game and it was clear my workout was not going to last until Piazza's epic bomb, so it was time to switch back to Francesa, who must have been on to something different by now. Wrong again. Hammond was still on. And Mike delivered one of his famous "No Question" Questions. What is this you ask? These are questions where Mike asks his guest something, then provides the answer to his own question, then waits for the interview subject to agree with Mike, then follows that up with the words "no question." Today's example was Mike asking Hammond about who a mystery horse was in the Derby, then answering it himself, tossing it to Hammond for him to agree with, then finishing the thought with "no question."

And that's where my patience and workout ran out. I will say that my time on the elliptical did seem to fly by....


I tuned into Mad Dog Unleashed around the Two O'clock hour. I didn't listen long, but it was refreshing to hear Chris get fired up about the Celts/Bulls. He was replaying it and constantly saying, "I wouldn't be surprised if the Bulls won on Saturday." His open was fun and energetic. It was a stark contrast to the morbid atmosphere that inhabits Mike'd Up Francesa on the Fan, or MUFF.

Mike briefly touched on Game 6 of the Bulls/Celtics in his open. Even though this series is going down as one of most memorable in history of NBA, Mike must have his qualifiers. He has said that the series at times is 'not well-played' and on the air yesterday with Barkley, he called it 'bizarre'. He conceded that it was a great series, but he has a talent for sucking the positive vibe out of something. He bemoaned the Saturday night game time for game 7 saying, "The NBA is trying to hide their games now." At times like this, I say to myself, 'Is this guy that self-loathing?' I already know the answer.

So while Russo's show probably jetted off into an entertaining 5 hours, Mike got away from the NBA to lead with a very stale topic, the Mets. Of course, once he does this he invites callers who bring up his vendetta against Wright. As a result, the show takes on a negative feel, which permeates the airwaves, depressing the hell out of me. But I guess you reap what you sow.

OMG! This is gonna SUCK!

I am just thinking about what's been going on in the sports world of late and am realizing that today will be a terrifically painful afternoon of radio on the Fan for most of the lurkers of this blog.  Let's list some reasons:

- NYY are on a roll and have their young studs putting up back to back gems.  Mike is going to make Joba and Hughes out to be better than the 2006 versions of Bonderman and Verlander.
- NYM are in a slide and going to Philly for the weekend.  Mike is going to pontificate on the gravity of this series and he'll be egged on by the idiot callers screaming for Wright's departure.  It's enough to make you puke.
- The Kentucky Derby.  A big portion of this show, I bet, will be dedicated to "the most exciting two minutes in sports" today.  Mike will be spouting off about mudders, speed horses and closers all day.  He'll handicap the race and name drop for hours.  It's enough to make you puke. 
- CHI/BOS series is going to a 7th game.  I don't watch much NBA but this series has certainly caught my attention.  OT games, scraps, momentum shifts and the like have made this series very interesting.  Sadly, we won't get analysis from Mike as he'll only be bemoaning his being "totally wrong on this one" over and over again.  We got it Mike, you whiffed this one.  It's no big deal.  If you didn't fire Sal, on the spot, after he declared D. Wade the best player in the NBA, I suppose we should cut you some slack as the NBA is clearly not your area of expertise.  
- M from M will definitely get a call in there today.

So, that's what I think we have to look forward to today.  Full disclosure:  I think horse racing is stupid but I will watch the Derby and I'll wager on it.  It's only two effin minutes, after all.  The rest of this show is basically par for the course.  Yankees are coming on strong and the Mets are choking.  This is nothing new but it will also allow Mike to sweep to ARod stories under the carpet.  That works for me because that story is boring, Selena Roberts is a hack and the Daily News wishes it were The Post.

OK...Let's se how this show shakes out.  As I think about it, Barkley may make an appearance and that's usually a pretty good spot.