Ellipticall'd Up

I spent the last 40 minutes at the gym watching - make that trying to watch Mike'd Up while riding the Eliptical machine. Watching Francesa while working out is sort of a weird experience. I usually enjoy it because it makes the workout go by faster. But today was the extreme opposite. As soon as I entered my cardiac information, plugged my headphones in and found the YES Network, I was welcomed by Mikey interviewing someone from the Daily Racing Form. I mean I totally expected the customary horse racing spots today, but did they have to time it that I get some dude from the DRF at the onset of my workout? So what was I to do? Naturally I changed the channel. I landed on the Family Feud. Can you name the 4 most glamorous cities in the world, according to 100 people on the street? I will give you a hint as to one of them - it's a city that Mike often points to in analyzing the outcomes of sporting events...Anyway, I watched the father/son combo of Herb and Herbie (no joke) botch the $10,000 round. Name a place that you go to that's always crowded? Herbie went with the ballpark. Unfortunately only two people agreed. How about a country that starts with the letter "S"? Herb went with the Soviet Union. Zero people concurred. In case you are wondering, Spain was the number one answer. Herb squared ended up with a total of 126 points, 74 short of the promised land.

Anyway, with the Feud over, it was time to get back to Francesa. Horse racing talk must be over right? Wrong. Tom Hammond from NBC Sports was on. I learned that Mike is not comfortable with the surface at the Derby. It's probably a good thing then that he's actually not racing on it. I also learned more than I ever wanted to about turf tracks. Time to switch the channel. I briefly ended up on some VH1 reality show with some hot girls walking around practically naked. I kind of wanted to leave it on this show but there was a girl next to me on another eliptical and somehow I felt dirty and sleazy watching this show, as if I was viewing porn in a public place. Next up was SNY, which was airing the Mets first home game after 9/11. As a Mets fan, I miss that team. Fonzie, a juiced up Piazza, Ventura, Bobby V, Bruce Chen...okay, maybe I don't miss Bruce Chen. It was early in the game and it was clear my workout was not going to last until Piazza's epic bomb, so it was time to switch back to Francesa, who must have been on to something different by now. Wrong again. Hammond was still on. And Mike delivered one of his famous "No Question" Questions. What is this you ask? These are questions where Mike asks his guest something, then provides the answer to his own question, then waits for the interview subject to agree with Mike, then follows that up with the words "no question." Today's example was Mike asking Hammond about who a mystery horse was in the Derby, then answering it himself, tossing it to Hammond for him to agree with, then finishing the thought with "no question."

And that's where my patience and workout ran out. I will say that my time on the elliptical did seem to fly by....