Monday, August 31, 2009

NY baseball is like the McDLT

Anyone remember the McDonald's McDLT from back in the '80s? "Keep the hot side hot, and the cool side cool." Well the Yankees are the red-hot burger and bacon side and the Mets are the ice-cold lettuce and tomato side.
In NFL, the talk will be be about rookies. Mark Sanchez is the next Joe Namath. The Giants' WRs couldn't catch a cold in a polio ward, except for Hakeem Nicks.
But of course Mike is off this week, so its Joe and Evan for ya. Not sure if Dog is in this week, but he seems to take less time off than the Fat One.

Friday, August 28, 2009


No Dog and no Mike today. So all I have to say is...

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Your Anus

I know it is juvenile and that Gman26 or FTLT will probably delete this post, but this van is parked on my block right now. I couldn't help but snap a picture and send it to everyone I know. That includes you folks. Enjoy.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Joba Chamberlain - A Daring Fellow

Not for driving from a strip club with, what was it again, Henny? No, for giving Mike 5 1/2 hours of free airtime to do nothing but bash him all day. Let's just see what he did wrong, shall we? Bear in mind, Mike GUARANTEED he'd be in the 'pen by August. Remember that folks. All season long he, "Mark my words" this and "I'm telling you right now" that that he'd be pitching the 8th. For some reason, Mike doesn't like Joba outside of 2007 Joba. He wants Joba to be the heir apparent so badly that he's not even happy when the kid goes out there and pitches well. Oh Joba, you've really done it this time...Let's just see:

- Staked to a 4-0 lead (can't pitch to score)
- Too many pitches, not enough strikes (100 pitches of fun)
- Too many base runners (12 base runners in 4.0 innings; thats a 3.0 WHIP folks!!!)
- Doesn't switch hit like Bernie Williams
- Bets exactas (sucker bets, folks)

Oh Joba, do yourself a favor tomorrow and keep it tuned to 1050. I'm sure Michael Kay and SP40 will have plenty of glowing things to say about your performance. Keep it off the FAN though. Mike is coming for you.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Joe Morgan - Still Dumb

They just showed a split screen with Tex and ARod. Morgan babbled about weight shifting and front feet while showing why ARod hit one out and Tex popped up. First, it's one AB out of 600. Next, ARod is built like a NYG LB. Holy hell that boy is big.

Matsui just turned Beckett into Trachsel. Awful.

In Summary....

Well, I think that truly defined the Mets season. Bruntlett goes 10-10 and turns a triple play to end this game. Mets catch a break when the dreamy Chase Utley took a break and his replacement played like Robbie Alomar on steroids.

So, whatever. 10 games under and everyone should be put on waivers.

For Big MiKe tomorrow he can talk about the Mets "luck.". Plus, the series in Boston. Weird so far, no?

For me, I'll take Beckett to keep those Yankee bats asleep. I guess he's -6 1/2 or so but I have yet to check.

Sunday Funday boys.

PS - KBilly, we just effing with you and your horrible taste in music. Chill out.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Touch of Gray

Keep your tie dyed shirt on KBilly. I am not glorifying any of that hippie BS music you like. Rather, I am expressing my amazement that there's a men's product that dyes your hair gray, slightly. I'm serious. I am watching the Sawx ritualistically dismantle the Yanks as I wait to watch the Phils gain their redemption on my punchless Mets when the commercial was aired. I'm still serious. This product grays your hair. Where are Hernandez and Clyde when you need 'em?

Will we see "Kinda Bald" or "Slight Paunch" soon?

Happy Saturday M and MB readers.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Complain about Suzyn Waldman's balls and she'll show you!

I know that I heard it out of context, that the ump was probably telling a pitcher not to complain about the strike zone, but as I walked into my bathroom to give back some beer on Friday at 8:12 pm, all I heard was Suzyn Waldman say: "Don't complain about my balls or I'll show you."

I literally did a double-take at my bathroom radio (always on) and ended up hitting the floor with my stream. Then I thought for a second and figured out what she meant...AND then I laughed my ass off.

A zillion thoughts ran through my head. Does Suzyn have balls? Is she willing to show them? Are Suzyn's bigger than Sterling's? Is Suzyn actually Loki's secret, long sought after, taco? The possibilities are endless with a quote like this.

Somebody please tell me they heard it and/or recorded the radio broadcast. It was said in the top of the 4th inning with no outs between 8:12 and 8:15 pm.

Let's face it...the Mets stink!

Ugh, I was torn last night with the Mets playing the archrival Braves in a meaningless late-August baseball game and the Philthy Iggles playing Eli's brother in a meaningless preseason game. I mostly watched the latter. Sad time for Mets fans when scouting the Iggles is more fun then watching the Mets. Yanks were off.

This being Friday, Mike will dedicate a little time to NFL. Texiera or Jetah for MVP will get some play too. Yanks are 31 games over .500. And, sadly, the Mets will get some time. No real reason though, they belong on the Stinks List.

Friday's Over/Under: Tom Brady getting hit hard - 5 mins; Brady being fine for 2009 5 mins 1 second; OchoCinco's game winning XP - 8 mins; Peyton being fine for 2009 8 mins 2 seconds; Mike calls Chad OchoCinco, Chad Johnson on first reference - 2-1; Mike laughs at the name OchoCinco - 1-1; U of Florida being 73 point favorites over Charleston Southern - 980,000-1.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

New topic du jour...

Sorry AwesomeSean, but judging from the top headlines on every New York area news outlet as of around 10:00 am Thursday - as well as a quick listen to Joe and Evan - the talk today won't be about baseball. Fist Vick, then Favre and now Plax. From the New York Post:

In a stunning move, former Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress pleaded guilty today to attempted criminal possession of a weapon and agreed to spend two years behind bars.

So get ready for Mike's thoughts on gun control, mandatory minimum sentencing, judicial treatment of athletes, how this compares to the Vick and Stalworth situations, Goodell's suspension policy, Where, or if, Plax will ever play again.

Baseball Discussions to Round out the 2009 Regular Season

It's a weird day for Mike...Yanks are off today as they fly cross country to (hopefully not) twist the dagger in the Sawx season. Mets (I guess, I wasn't watching) got smoked last night and Rangers relinquished their lead in the WC. That's about it. I mean, he'll be able to speak about the consequences of the upcoming series in Beantown, playoff postitioning, the NYY rolling and the Mets ending the year on some kind of upswing but that's about it. So, he'll be forced to field calls on the MVP race. From New York Yankee fans. Who are only vaguely aware that baseball is played outside of the Bronx. Who are pretty sure Captain America invented baseball. This is going to be fun. Hyperbole and exaggeration will be plentiful.

Now, I know this board isn't especially fond of stats so I won't bore you with the actual numerical breakdowns between the top 3 (my top 3, anyway) AL candidates. Any posted stats I'm sure will be drowned out by recounting of the flip play or the face-first-in-the-seat-while-Nomar-cried-on-the-bench-play. Instead, I'll just say that the writers often get these awards wrong anyway. This year, I suspect will be no different. I mean, if they get it wrong (Tex or The Jeter), we won't be surprised and if they get it right (Mauer) it will not be because of far and away superior offensive production but because he's a good kid, with a lot talent, surrounded by less than stellar talent. The bottom line is that in nearly every important statistical category Mauer dwarfs both NYY.

The more compelling discussion might be the Cy Young. Who are we thinking? There is no run away winner this year, right? Maybe we should give it to Wang as like a lifetime achievement award. I think I heard on the radio once that he won 19 games, 2 years in a row!!!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Fans, Fans, Fans; Good Fans, Bad Fans and Electric Fans

My next door neighbor growing up, Kenny, always described someone who followed the "hot" team or the winning team as an electric fan. I was young at the time but that always struck a chord with me. That is, you're a fan of a team through thick and thin. If you're lucky enough to be a NYY fan or a NYG fan, great. If you grew up a NYJ fan or a NYM, well, tough luck. Those are your teams and that's it. Each one of us has ups and downs. That's part of the fun (to me, anyway). Anyway, while I was learning this lesson from Kenny I was also getting smoked daily in wiffle ball, Intellevision boxing and football. He was 10, a NYY and NYJ fan and I was 8 and became a NYM and NYG fan. To the best of my knowledge, he's still the same and so am I...So, why am I writing this? Because on WFAN, "fans" aren't called out nearly enough. That's why I'm here.

Look, we're lucky as NY sports fans. We have 5 pro teams to root for in 3 different sports (sorry Buffalo and sorry hockey). If you don't like baseball, there's football or basketball. Don't like football? Try baseball, etc. We're not limited to deciding between the Hawkeyes or the Cyclones. We have choices. Good choices too. Time and again, however, some idiot calls into the station and professes their love for the Cowboys, the Raiders, the ChicagoeffingCubs for f*cksake. I mean, c'mon, dude, you're from NY, you've never even been to Dallas or worn cowboy boots! What is your major malfunction?

Seriously, I cannot stand people that root for teams outside of their state/region. If I were on one of these shows and someone called in to say, "Hey, I'm a huuuuuuuuuuge Vikings fan! RIP Korey Stringer!!!" I'd berate them for selecting a team in a state they can't even find on a map. Then, I'd hang up on them.

So, anyone out there fall into this category? Loki, are you a closet Chicago Bulls fan? JD, do you have a Romo jersey? Let's hear it and let's hear who we call think are the WORST of these types of fans.

Friday, August 14, 2009

I got F'king octopuss coming out my F'king ears Mang.

Tony Montana: "Jou know I eat octopuss tree times a day? I got F'king octopuss coming out my F'king ears mang."

This is how I feel about the Mike Vick situation. Two-and-a-half years of this debate for a guy who went from the boardroom to the mailroom, taking a backup job at 1/13th of his previous salary after serving almost 3 years in the can.

Evan is on a soapbox over this indignity to humanity. He claims that if he were ever arrested, WFAN would never welcome him back. What he forgets is that some other station would, for the overnight shift.

I'm not a fan of Mr. Vick, and I lost some serious $$$ on him in the National Championship game against FSU, but he's a football player and he's been cleared to play after six weeks, so get over it.

This has caused me to turn off sports talk for the remainder of the day and watch Scarface.

Sosa needs to send a hit squad into the WFAN studios ASAP.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Eli, Tiger and Cano...Maybe some Pedro

Mike is celebrating the one-year anniversary of his final show with Mad Dog with a trip to Albany for the NY Football Giants training camp. As WFAN is the flagship station for the Giants, Mike will be able to get GM Jerry Reese, Head Coach Tom Coughlin and Super Bowl XXII MVP Eli Manning. He'll also probably get RB Brandon Jacobs, rookie WR Hakeem Nicks, LB Antonio Pierce, and either DEs Justin Tuck or Osi Uminyora, with a couple other players sprinkled in.

Here are my Over/Unders: Replacing Plaxico - 8 1/2; D-Line rotation/depth - 6 1/2; Ernie Accorsi name drops - OTB; Replacing Derrick Ward - 2 1/2; Eagles revamped offense - 1 1/2

Also sure to highlight the show is Tiger at the PGA Championship, where he is currently tied for 5th at 2 under par through 10 holes, as is Padraig Harrington. Lefty doesn't tee off until about 3:00, so he'll be watched in the second half of the show.

Even though he's at Giants camp, Mike will have to dedicate some time to Robbie Cano's extra-inning game winning hit last night and Pedro's 5 innings of 3 run ball in a Phils win.

But it will be a football-dominated show today. Even though I'll only catch the first hour, knowing NFL is right around the corner is a godsend for us Mets fans who also happen to be Giants fans.

UPDATE: After learning Ernie Accorsi is at Giants camp today, the O/U on Ernie Accorsi name drops has been pulled off the board.

Monday, August 10, 2009

First Time in a Long Time

It's been a while but it's time for me to dust off the keyboard and insert some life back into this blog. Kbilly, AwesomeSean, you've done an admirable job in keeping things going but I had an epiphany (Loki, look up this word on the internet) this morning. How about a post dedicated to one Mike Francesa? Imagine that. Instead of gossiping about real estate on the Jersey shore or weekend softball games, it's time to talk a little shop around here.

So Mikey finds himself in quite the conundrum today. This year has been a very strange Yankee season for Francesa. He has gone against everything he has always stood for. In years past if the Bombers got off to a listless start, as they did this season, invetitably Mike would field Yankee panic calls throughout April and May.. And in typical Francesa fashion, Mike would tee off on those calls "It's April!!!!, Talk to me in August!!" In short, Mike would never press the panic button. Doing so would be likening himself to the common folk, the Mike from Montclairs, the Bruce from Baysides. Instead, Mike would draw a line in the sand and he would always be on the "It's the Yankees, they will turn it around and make the playoffs" side.

However, this year has been a complete reversal. For whatever reason (leftover Torre bitterness, the absence of Russo to mock him), Mike took a completely different approach this season. Throughout April and May, Francesa continuously buried the Yankees. He told us of how they had no heart, that Arod's return wasn't going to help this team, that they didn't play with grit, that their bullpen was a mess, that Joba belonged in the pen, that Hughes was a joke, that Melky was not a starter, that Gardner would never hit in the big leagues, that he was against the Burnett signing, that Sabathia was not in Santana's class, that Girardi was coaching himself out of the Bronx. And to add insult to Yankees fans injury, Mike then jumped on the Red Sox bandwagon and has marveled all season at the names Beckett, Youkillis, Pedroia, Lester and those minor leaguers that they call up and throw in the '90s. Sure, he has gotten his customary "Theo wanted no part of the Lowell/Beckett trade" comments in, but for the most part, WFAN from 1-6:30 has become WEEI.

In years past, Mike would clamor for the Yankees to go after every big player available ("the kid McCluth from Pittsburgh", Marte, "Heath Bell could set up for Mariano" and so on and so on.) But this year when the big fish, Halladay was available, Mike wanted no part. All of a sudden, Francesa was pining for parity.

And a funny thing started to happen throughout this tumultous time. The Yankees defied Francesa. They started winning and haven't stopped. Meanwhile, the Sox all of a sudden look like the team that resides in Flushing. And in a weird way, The Yankees shocking sweep of Boston is exactly what Mike did NOT want. He wanted to sing the praises of Youk and Beckett and lament the sad state of the Yankees when it comes to winning big games. He has been on that train all season long and now that it has derailed in the most horrific way imaginable, how will Mike respond? What will his take be? Surely he will say that we haven't seen the last of Boston yet. It's been a "bizarre" year for sure. It's Mike move now and it's going to be fascninating to watch...

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Big Papi has a bridge he'd like to sell you...

So David "Big Papi" Ortiz holds a press conference Saturday to claim he never did steroids. I don't believe him as far as I could throw him. And with my bad back, I shouldn't be throwing anyone.

David Ortiz says he only took supplements and vitamins. Didn't Palmero blame his positive test on a Vitamin B-12 injection? Additionally, all the over the counter supplements are basically amino acids and I learned in high school that amino acids become protein, which become muscle mass, which become home runs.

From Wikipedia:
Anabolic steroids, or anabolic-androgenic steroids (AAS), are a class of steroid hormones related to the hormone testosterone. They increase protein synthesis within cells, which results in the buildup of cellular tissue (anabolism), especially in muscles.

So Big Papi, who said on the record that steroid users should get a one-year ban hasn't missed a game since it became known that he was a steroid user. He isn't giving back any money. And he sure as all hell isn't giving back any of his World Series rings.

And now the Red Sawks are taking a Mets-like dive in the standings. Karma's a bitch, Papi. A-Rod at least came (kind of) clean and took a month off. How's that working for him?

Friday, August 7, 2009

Now, Real Baseball Begins

I expect a vociferous outpouring of emotion from Yankee callers today and rightly so. Mike will be sure to warn against burying the Boston Youks but Yankee fans will be unyielding in their praise and arrogance. Good for them. Boston is fielding a subpar team and pitching corpses and the Yanks are fielding a team that's clicking right now. From where I sit, this race could turn very ugly, very fast if Beckett can't hold down that offense tonight.

What I want to know is, if Youk had taken a HR away last night with a dazzling defensive play, would Mike proclaim him to be the best player ever? Would he have been fanning himself with a hot dog wrapper because it made him hot?

I heard Tim McCarver on M & M this AM. In "analyzing" the NL playoff teams he mentioned that the best thing the 2009 Phillies have going for them is that they won the World Series in 2008. Not Cliff Lee, not Hamels, not the 4 monsters in the middle of the line-up. No, none of that. Best thing is that the 2008 Phillies are the reigning world champs. Better analysis could be gotten from Tim Russo.

Happy Friday boys. Weather is perfect for good baseball. Enjoy.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Tim McCarver on Mad Dog Unleashed

Tim McCarver was on Mad Dog's show today.

I like Tim McCarver as a MLB analyst, BUT the best quote about Tim McCarver I ever heard was from Cardinals pitcher Bob Gibson: "The only thing Tim McCarver knows about pitching is that he can't hit it."

Ouch, that's a smack to the face...From probably the best pitcher of the 20th Century. MLB changed the rules because Gibson was so dominant.

I plan to call in later today to point this out. KD From Manhattan.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Dog: Giants overpaid for Eli Manning

Dog thinks Eli Manning is a 6-10 NFL QB, not top 5. He loves Jerry Reese, but Ben Cheeseburger and Phillip Rivers are both much better. Eli is in the 2nd tier. But "Eli has that intangible, which is very, very big."

What Dog doesn't get is: inflation. In three years Eli won't be in the top 10 highest paid players in the NFL, especially if the NFL goes uncapped.

Apparently Bart Starr is the standard benchmark to which all NFL QBs should be held.

On a related note, would someone give me $97.5 million (35.5 million guaranteed)???

Requiem for a Team

I had a (I thought, anyway) really great idea for a smashing post today. I was cultivating it in my limited brain last night as I waited for KRod to come in and lock down the W. I don't know if you heard but that didn't exactly happen. No, instead of the Mets picking up a subpar Johan and beginning this short series with a win, all hell broke loose and they wound up with, possibly, the worst loss of the season. My rational mind knew that the Mets weren't playoff bound but my irrational mind still held out some hope. Both sides of my mind are now utterly defeated and have hoisted the white flag high and for all to see. It's been a bad year and last night was essentially a summation of the season. They can now be assured to play out the string of the final 56 games in anonymity. The only way they'll be back in the news is if someone on the team marries Mike Piazza.

Good for the Yanks to get a win against the always tough Roy Halladay. They're now assured to go into the Boston series in first place. I'll still be rooting against them but they seem primed to make a big time run this year. By the way, there is no chance at all that Joba gets "shut down." They might reduce the workload a tad but that boy will be out there every 5th day from now until the Yankees' season ends.

Monday, August 3, 2009


No Mike on WFAN this week. No Dog on Sirius this week. We are stuck with Joe and Evan on WFAN and The B-Team on Sirius for Afternoon sports talk. They both take off the week after the MLB trading deadline and the same week that Giants and Jets camp starts up. That's just weak.

Since I can't deal with that Cars 4 Kids commercial, you know where I'll be. I swear that this weekend I was sleeping with the radio on and at 4 am that stupid jingle woke me up like a 21 gun salute was in my bedroom.

So, since we pretty much know where we all stand on Mets/Yanks fandom. Let's take a poll to figure out where we stand on Giants/Jets. I am firmly on the Giants side of the fence, and I'd bet that Gman26 is as well. But I root for the Jets, as long as their interests don't conflict with my interests. Let's get the party started.