Monday, June 2, 2008

The Done Report

After mocking Tampa Bay and Toronto last week and repeatedly saying "Talk to me in August", Mike Francesa, just moments ago, issued his done report, on which teams' seasons were over (despite the fact that we are not yet in August):

Mike: Colorado, they're done and Seattle, I think they are both done. It's early to be doing that, but I don't think you'll see either one.

Chris: Pirates done? Washington done?

Mike: Well those teams were never started.

Chris:Kansas City done?

Mike: Yeah.

Chris: Baltimore done?

Mike: Baltimore done Yes. Kansas City done Yes.

Chris: Texas?

Mike: Yes.

Chris (Very surprised): Ohhh really!?

Mike: They're not going anywhere this year.

Chris: Cincinnati?

Mike: I won't count them out yet.

Chris: San Diego?

Mike: I won't count them out yet.

Chris: Giants?

Mike: Yeah. Giants are done.

Chris (big-time laugh): You hit the teams. I'm surprised you gave Texas a doner.

Mike: Yeah, I don't think they are any good.

Chris: So Seattle, Texas, Kansas City, the Orioles, the Nats, Pittsburgh, Colorado and the Giants.

These are actually some of my favorite Mike and Chris segments. What are your thoughts?


DF said...

I love the insight.

Take the six teams that are last in their divisions:

Then add a team from the weakest division in the Senior Circuit:

Then for some reason MF hates this 2nd to last in their division team:

And there's your done list. Really?
He's a real fucking Kreskin.

And for the "don't count them out yet, this call surprises me:
Yes, yes, yes, MLB season is a marathon not a spriBLAH, BLAH, BLAH . . . I'd say the NL WIld Card is more likely to come out of the East or Central than the West. For the Padres to make it, they will probably need to win the division. To win the wild card or their division they are probably going to need 88-92 wins or so. With approx 100 games left they are going to need to win 65-70 games the rest of the season and only lose 30-35. They are currently playing .397 ball and need to win at a clip of .650-.700. Starting tonight. If I was making a done list I'd put them on it. If I was already making stupid predictions already, I do not see why I would not pull the triger on that one. Also their interleague schedule has them playing, CLE, NYY, DET, & MIN all in June. Damn you Francesa for making me do Padres research!!! If you could think for yourself and do research then we would not have to. But then again, the Padres are kind to horses.

gman26 said...

DF. very impressive in that you've employed the MMD tactic of figuring out how many wins they need to make the playoffs. As if anyone truly knows what it will be. I'm surprised you didn't use Francesa's '10 back in the loss column'. I could write a whole post(hey maybe I will) about how Francesa uses terms like 'loss column' to try and trick the listeners into thinking that he knows more than them. Another situation he does this in is when a pro football coach will be on the phone and Mike will ask 'Why were they playing Cover 2?' As if he knows what the fuck he is talking about.

DF said...

Using wins and losses as a gauge for eligibility into the MLB playoff system is not a fancy parlor trick. OK, chief?

It is the actual basis by which teams are selected for the World Series tournament.

And while we do not know what the number of total wins needed will be, you can look historically at a division or a league and estimate the probably amount of wins needed.

Now go ahead and send in your nickel or dime package. Hot route. Hot route.