Friday, September 26, 2008

Mike and Chris' Open

I'm getting a bit nostalgic here for the days of Mike and Chris together again. So I have decided to write today's open as if nothing ever happened between the two. I am going to pretend that the words Yunel Escobar, Don Nelson, Yankee Stadium bathroom, Manny, Ortiz mean nothing. I am going to ignore the significance of those names and locations. I am going to pretend a break-up never happened:

Chris: And gooood Afternooooon Everybodddyyyyyyy! On this rainy Friday, September the 26th on WFAN..YES is here and ROW in Albany is piggybacking. How are you today Mike?

Mike: Fine.

Chris: Well Mike, ahh where do you wanna go today? Where do you want to start?

Mike: Got to start with the baseball Dog.

Chris: Well Mike listen..big win for the Mets last night. But I just can't get too wrapped up in it.

Mike: That was a must win Dog. A must win.

Chris: Good point Mike, good point.

Mike: I mean this team has showed the ability to rebound from some unthinkable losses..

Chris: Ohh brutal ones Mike. Brutal losses.

Mike: But Dog, they pick themselves up off the canvas every time. I mean it really is amazing. Now listen, that Cubs team was a joke last night.

Chris: I mean CMON Pinella. Can you put a couple of players on the field! Just one! PLEASE! I mean Timmy's Little League team could have beaten those Cubs last night!!

Mike: What's Louie suppose to do...you got puddles all over the field.

Chris; BUT CMON MIKE! Can I get Derrek Lee for two at bats? Ramirez for one? Soriano? Soriano's not getting tired. CMON! That lineup was ATROCIOUS.

Mike: Dog, they almost beat the Mets.

Chris: EXCELLENT POINT MIKE! EXCELLENT POINT.

Mike: The Mets never have any rocking chair games. Close your eyes, pick a reliever.

Chris: I just can't go too crazy about that Met win. The team that they played stinks. Pedro has been TERRIBLE. Now I don't want to hear Met fans tell me that Pedro was a good contract.

Mike: Dog, he gave them credibility.

Chris; Mike, he's pitched ONE YEAR FOR THE METS! ONE YEAR. He's Done. Toast. Finito. Finished. That was NOT a good contract Mike.

Mike: I completely disagree. He made that team matter again. He made guys wanna come play for the Mets.

Chris. OH CMON Mike. Could ya Please! Ya think Beltran wasn't going to the highest bidder? Johan was about to pack up his bags and go back to Minnesota if the Mets didn't give him that extra $5 million. No one came here for Pedro.

Mike: Dog, he turned that franchise around.

Chris: He stinks Mike. Pedro stinks. And another thing, these Met fans that have booed Delgado all year long, that booed Schoenweis on Opening Day, that boo Heilman when he gets in his car in the morning, these same Met fans now give Pedro a standing ovation when he leaves last night? I mean PIPE DOWN mets fans. You're a bunch of phonies. Pedro hasn't thrown a good inning for you in 4 years and you treat him like he's the second coming of Cy Young. And then you'll boo Delgado when he hits into a double play...

Mike: They love Pedro.

Chris: And Mike, what is the kid Murphy doing trying to bunt there?

Mike: This is what happens when you put young kids in big spots. Murphy almost cost them the season last night.

Chris: I'm down on the Mets right now.

6 comments:

TheNextBestThing1 said...

Pretty accurate description...

Anonymous said...

This blog sucks.

Jason said...

every newspaper and sports website is saying the mets won the game last night. but judging from listening to fatso for 11 minutes, im beginning to doubt everyone. the mets must have lost the game last night. no?

Jason said...

btw, this was the first time i listened to fatso in over a week. i couldnt get beyone 11 minutes. (which is why i havent been commenting lately).

Let's Go Marlins said...

some of these posts are indeed poor in quality.

mets won a lucky game last night. the guy could have been called out by being out of the base path when he scored.
if umpires can call runners out running to first they could have called him out by being more than 3 feet from the base path.

Anonymous said...

this blog still sucks.