Thursday, May 15, 2008

WWCJS (What would Colonel Jessep Say...This is the section where Colonel Jessep responds to a pressing question from the show today)

5/15 Question of the Day: Colonel Jessep, What should we do about Willie Randolph?

Col. Jessep: Hmmmm... fire Willie? Yes, I'm sure you're right. I'm sure that's the thing to do. Wait a minute, I have a better idea. Let's fire the whole coaching staff. Let's... On second thought, Mets fans! Let's trade away every player on the whole team. Mike, Chris, go on out there get those boys down out of the lockerroom, they're packing their bags. Chris!
Russo: Yes, sir!
Col. Jessep: Get me Omar on the phone right away. We're surrendering our position in the NL East!
Russo: Yes, sir.
Col. Jessep: Wait a minute, Dog, don't get Omar just yet. Maybe we should consider this a second. Dismissed, Dog. Maybe, and I'm just spit balling here, maybe, we have a responsibility as officers to train the Mets. Maybe we as officers have a responsibility to this city to see to it that the men charged with its baseball security are trained professionals. Yes, I'm certain I remember reading that somewhere once. And now I'm thinking Met fans, that your suggestion of firing Willie, while expeditious and certainly painless, might not be, in a matter of speaking, the New York way. Willie stays where he is. We're gonna train the lad!

5/14 Question of the Day
Why aren't the Yankees hitting in the clutch? Do you have an answer to that question, Colonel?

Absolutely.  My answer is I don't have the first damn clue.  Maybe Robinson Cano was an early blossomer and liked to hit in the minors.  And mabye he misses Donnie baseball and Larry Bowa.  I'm an educated man, but I'm afraid I can't speak intelligently about the lack of hitting by the 2008 Yankees.  What I do know is that Cano was set to hit. 300, crush 20 homers, score 90 runs and drive in close to 100 RBI.  Now, are these the questions I was really called here to answer? Cano and Shelley Duncan batting cleanup?  Please tell me that you have something more, callers?  These Yankees are only 3 back in the loss column behind Boston.  Please tell me that you fans haven't pinned your hopes on an Arod and Posada depleted lineup?

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