Mike and the Mad Blog: WWCJS (What would Colonel Jessep Say...This is the section where Colonel Jessep responds to a pressing question from the show today)

Thursday, May 15, 2008

WWCJS (What would Colonel Jessep Say...This is the section where Colonel Jessep responds to a pressing question from the show today)

5/15 Question of the Day: Colonel Jessep, What should we do about Willie Randolph?

Col. Jessep: Hmmmm... fire Willie? Yes, I'm sure you're right. I'm sure that's the thing to do. Wait a minute, I have a better idea. Let's fire the whole coaching staff. Let's... On second thought, Mets fans! Let's trade away every player on the whole team. Mike, Chris, go on out there get those boys down out of the lockerroom, they're packing their bags. Chris!
Russo: Yes, sir!
Col. Jessep: Get me Omar on the phone right away. We're surrendering our position in the NL East!
Russo: Yes, sir.
Col. Jessep: Wait a minute, Dog, don't get Omar just yet. Maybe we should consider this a second. Dismissed, Dog. Maybe, and I'm just spit balling here, maybe, we have a responsibility as officers to train the Mets. Maybe we as officers have a responsibility to this city to see to it that the men charged with its baseball security are trained professionals. Yes, I'm certain I remember reading that somewhere once. And now I'm thinking Met fans, that your suggestion of firing Willie, while expeditious and certainly painless, might not be, in a matter of speaking, the New York way. Willie stays where he is. We're gonna train the lad!

5/14 Question of the Day

Why aren't the Yankees hitting in the clutch? Do you have an answer to that question, Colonel?

Absolutely. My answer is I don't have the first damn clue. Maybe Robinson Cano was an early blossomer and liked to hit in the minors. And mabye he misses Donnie baseball and Larry Bowa. I'm an educated man, but I'm afraid I can't speak intelligently about the lack of hitting by the 2008 Yankees. What I do know is that Cano was set to hit. 300, crush 20 homers, score 90 runs and drive in close to 100 RBI. Now, are these the questions I was really called here to answer? Cano and Shelley Duncan batting cleanup? Please tell me that you have something more, callers? These Yankees are only 3 back in the loss column behind Boston. Please tell me that you fans haven't pinned your hopes on an Arod and Posada depleted lineup?

Mike and the Mad Dog Glossary

Be careful: Mike and Chris' way of telling sports fans not to fall in love with a player or team ("Be Careful about falling in love with Pagan")

Let's be fair here: Russo's counter-argument to callers that attack someone ("Let's be fair here. If you are going to knock Rick Peterson, you gotta give him credit for John Maine")

This whole notion: When Francesa or Russo declares something to be fact when in actuality, they are making it up themselves ("This whole notion that Mike D'Antoni is going to make the Knicks a playoff team is a joke")

Pipe Down: Russo's way of telling a player to shut up ("Pipe down there Figueroa")

Tough Spot: This is usually a negative. 'Tough spot. Aaron Heilman. Can't trust him.' They rarely say, "I really like Chauncey Billups in a tough spot." Even though Mike and Dog don't trust a lot of athletes in a tough spot, you can earn your way out of this label. For example, they couldn't trust Eli Manning in a tough spot until the Super Bowl. Now he can basically retire and still be a legend. He proved he can perform in a tough spot. This phrase is used by both Mike and Dog.

Tricky Spot: This really means an awkward position. For example, Ian Eagle running into Marv Albert at the Garden. Or I'm sure that the Giants last game of the 2007 was a tricky spot. "Coughlin wants to get ready for the postseason but you have to try to end the Patriots' undefeated season. Tricky spot, Mike." And for clarification. This phrase is used primarily by Russo.

Timmy: Russo's son. ("I mean, let's be fair here Mike, Timmy can throw harder than Igawa")

Say Something Funny Mike (When Russo can't control himself and breaks out into laughter and tries to egg Francesa on to keep it going. Picture Russo hysterically laughing followed by "Say Something Funny Mike")

First time, long time (this term is announced by a fan calling to the show, who has been a long time listener of the show, but is making his first ever call in - hence, first time (caller), long time (listener)

I can't go too crazy - This is a Mad Dog special. Dog uses this phrase to throw cold water on enthusiastic callers("I can't go too crazy about the D-Rays in May. Talk to me in September.") or admit that he doesn't have strong feelings about a subject("I can't go too crazy about the Olympic torch protesters.").

A-Game - This is Mike's new terminology that he applies to a Yankees win in which the starter goes 7 innings, Joba pitches a perfect 8th and Mariano closes it out. "The Yanks need an A Game tonight."

Bad Job: This is Mad Dog's way of criticizing something. It can be applied to players, coaches, general managers, fans - even networks, as in "That's a bad job out of NBC on the Derby Broadcast."

I'm not a big believer in: This is mainly a Mike comment. It means he doesn't have much confidence in something. And just like other comments, this is mainly used in negative, eg. 'I'm not a big believer in starting someone on 3 days rest.'

The whole bit - Russo's phrase when he is alone and wants to keep the conversation moving along. Without Mike there to add any details, Russo will use 'the whole bit' to sum up a person or issue. 'Selig will make it into the Hall of Fame. Steroids, the whole bit.'

Mike and the Mad Blog

Thursday, May 15, 2008

WWCJS (What would Colonel Jessep Say...This is the section where Colonel Jessep responds to a pressing question from the show today)

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