Thursday, May 28, 2009
FRANCESA GLOSSARY
Bizarre – Francesa has been using this a lot recently, especially after the Mets win a game. Using 'bizarre' is his way of diminishing the Mets, but it also is an admission that he is at a loss for words at how they can defy him.
I understand – I don’t remember this as much when Dog was around. He must use this because he has no partner to argue with him. So he has to create a phantom debater, eg. "I understand the economy is bad." The usage is very similar to ‘this whole idea’ or 'the whole notion'(See the glossary on the right for 'whole notion' definition).
No question - When Mike asks a question of an interview subject, then answers it himself, then waits for subject to agree and finishes with "no question" cementing the fact that there indeed was no question ever asked ("absolutely" is another form of "no question")
Canonize - This term is applied to the Mets solely when they are high on a young prospect - as in "the Mets canonized Murphy". However, this term will never be applied to the Yanks. You will never hear "the Yanks canonized Hughes and Kennedy."
Folks - Folks is used to address the callers and listeners of Mike'd Up. If you listen closely the way mike says it, it sort of has a condescending tone to it.
Gamer - These are guys Mike would go to war with any day and divorce Roe for in a heartbeat...Youk, Jeter, the entire Phillies offense, etc. Sorry. No Mets allowed.
We welcome more entries into the updated Francesa lexicon.
(Editors note: This is a joint joint between FTLT and gman26)
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Francesa Cleansing
Friday, May 22, 2009
FRANCESA THE STORYTELLER
'stand tall', 'crawling', 'swept aside', 'hammered', 'on the shelf','big thumpers', 'thunderbats', 'bloom is off the rose', 'full to the brim', 'red carpet invitation in solid gold', 'take him for a spin', 'double him to death', 'three ring circus'
I'm not saying he's Oscar Wilde or anything, but the fact of the matter is that he's very good at painting a picture of the day in sports. Sometimes that picture is a little crooked and potentially fraudulent. But it is interesting to look at nonetheless.
Please add any other turns of phrase uttered by the Pope of Letters today.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
New Starts
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
MIKE AND CHRIS REUNITE FOR AI POST
Chris: Anddddd Gooood Afternooon Everybody on this beautiful May day. ROW in
Mike: Fine.
Chris: Well Mike lots to talk about today. The Mets continue to be an enigma. You want to get excited about the
Yanks? Okay, but can they play a few good teams first? Where do you want to start Mike?
Mike: Wherever.
Chris: This idea that the Orlando Magic could win this series.
Mike: Dog, we got to start with the finale of American Idol.
Chris: Excellent point Mike!
Mike: Listen, they put on a great show last night, with Rod Stewart and Queen and Lionel and...
Chris: Ahh could ya please with the cursing Fergie? Come on.
Mike: Ryan, as always, does a great job hosting.
Chris: Excellent job Mike, excellent job.
Mike: Folks, if you think that Kris Allen is our American Idol then you're kidding yourself. Now I understand
Chris: TERRIBLE JOB by
Mike: Listen folks, before we canonize Kris Allen, remember these guys who have fundamental flaws like Reuben Studdard and David Cook. Adam should have won this thing. And then we have to listen to the new golden boy sing that awful song that Kara wrote.
Chris: Pipe down Kara. Timmy could write a better song than that. And another thing Mike, do I need these girls running around naked on stage? I mean could ya please? I got Jeannie and the kids watching and I got these girls with nothing on.
Mike: Kris Allen cannot beat Adam Lambert. I'm sorry folks but that just can't happen. But listen FOX did a nice job with the show. Roe and I got a kick out of it. And listen they did a nice job with the broadcast so I'm not going to kill them, but how in the world do we NOT hear from the judges after the results! I mean COME ON FOX!!!! How do I not hear from Simon Cowell what he thought! Where's the postgame show?
Chris: Excellent point Mike. Excellent point.
Mike: I mean c'mon FOX! And listen I know Simon has been on a nice run, but how does he NOT come out to argue that CALL!!! Folks, they didn't just take a point off the board here, they robbed Lambert. How does Simon not protect his guy!!!! And there are reports of individuals making up to 100 text votes by themselves? If Fox doesn't clean up this competition, then it's going to be as relevant as the NHL. I already have to put up with Matt Vasgersian and Jeannie Zelasko. Now I have to put up with a voting system that is corrupt?
Phony'd Up
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
First Name Basis
- Tom (Brady)
- Bernie (Williams)
- Joe (Torre)
- Mariano (Rivera)
- Tino (Martinez)
- Manny (Ramirez)
- Omar (Minaya)
- Eli (Manning)
Conversely, consider these people for whom Mike doesn't quite adore and how he refers to them:
- Wright (David)
- Reyes (Jose)
- Delgado (Carlos)
- Manuel (Jerry)
- Dog (Chris Russo)
- Ortiz (David)
- Lee (David)
- Robinson (Nate)
- Girardi (Joe)
These are just a few examples. Now I know what you are thinking - what about the JDYB factor? That would be the Jeter-Duncan-Youkilis-Brosius factor: 4 guys Mike has the ultimate respect for, but refers to the by their last names. Just chalk this up to the margin of error that you would see in statistical polling...what does this all mean? Nothing really but it just seemed like time for a new post....
FILL US IN
Monday, May 18, 2009
CANON LAW
-"No wonder Steve Phillips never won here." - You mean besides the World Series trip? Granted, Phillips' suggestion to trade Beltran was absurd, but he was the GM during one of their most successful periods.
-"What I want answered is why Reyes didn't pinch hit?" Well, Mike. You can ask Jerry Manuel that same question when he's on with you during his weekly spot. Now, I seem to remember Mike saying that Manuel might not be on this week because of the road trip. Even so, if this is such a burning question, then it can wait a week.
-"He doesn't like Castro. He doesn't like Church." Another excellent opportunity for Mike to ask the Met manager about his hate for his two players.
-"Morgan parachutes in here." - Joe Morgan is definitely old-school, but not to that extent.
-"You pinch hit Murphy with a Minor leaguer!" - Ok. So maybe Pagan is a bit of a Quadruple AAA player, but he has played in 181 Major League games over three years, so it's not his first trip around the block.
-"The Mets have sold Murphy like crazy" and "they have canonized him." Below the various definitions for canonize. I don't see anything below that fits that definition in regards to the hype around Daniel Murphy. I have a feeling Gregg Jeffries wins that award.
- To declare (a deceased person) to be a saint and entitled to be fully honored as such.
- To include in the biblical canon.
- To include in a literary canon.
- To approve as being within canon law.
- To treat as sacred; glorify.
MIKE'D UP MONDAY LINEUP
1. First topic will combo the Yanks and Mets - "...Franceser on the Fan. Well, a good weekend for both area baseball teams."
2. Then a segue to Yanks three-straight walk off wins - "Maybe, just maybe, this will inject a little juice into the new Yankee stadium. This past weekend might just have put some life into this stadium, which before was like a morgue."
3. Mets win 3 out of 4 from Giants - "So the Mets(voice very unenthusiastic)took care of business in San Francisco with big offensive performances from Wright and Beltran, until they were shut down by Matt Cain last night. Pelphrey blew their chance to sweep with his three bawwlks. (starts chuckling) After the last bawwlk, (more laughing) he kicks the cleat cleaner(laughing) and almost falls down(more laughing). But hey, let's give the Mets a little credit. They have won 12 out of their last 16. Although the NL East is a bad division. " Continues on with any praise of the Mets qualified by minor criticism.
As an aside, how quickly into Russo's show will he bring up the Giants losing 3 out of 4 to the Mets? That was the one great thing about Russo being on the Fan. Since he was doing a New York show, he could only talk so much about the SF Giants before he realized that no one cared.
Also, who was listening to the ESPN broadcast last night? Terrible job out of them. First they spend 3 innings on the old story about who is the leader of the Mets. Then Steve Phillips brings up the Trade Reyes talk from 'New York talk radio'. I'm not a fan of Joe Morgan, but he clearly cut through all the bullshit and totally dismissed trading Reyes, Wright or Beltran for that matter. Wondering if Francesa was listening and will he bring this up.
Please give us your predictions for Mike's starting lineup ordered 1-3.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Dog Days
Chris Russo misses local slant, but likes new life
Neil Best
For most New York sports radio listeners, Chris Russo's trademark cackle is but a memory - other than in those spot-on imitations by WFAN's Craig Carton.
It is a reality Russo knew he was accepting when he left the FAN for Sirius XM, a pay satellite service with 18.6 million subscribers nationwide but a far lower profile among tri-state fans than WFAN.
Still, Russo said Wednesday that while he does not regret the move and enjoys many aspects of his new gig, he sometimes misses the impact of being on a local, 50,000-watt powerhouse.
"There are times, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it,'' he said, a feeling more pronounced now than in the fall because of the national scope of the NFL.
The baseball is so much more local. Those are the days where you definitely feel a little pang, like, 'Boy, Mike [Francesa] has got to be at Citi Field today, or Mike's got to be at Yankee Stadium.'
"I guarantee you when the Mets and Yankees first play [June 12] I will definitely sense it, because I won't be part of that. There are times you miss that.''
He added, "When the Yankees are [losing], I have to assume fans are more attuned to what Mike is saying, or Kay than myself. I do feel that pang. Not all the time, but I've felt it.''
As for Francesa, he said, "I don't care if you had the worst divorce in your life. When you're married to someone for 19 years there is going to be an element of that marriage you'll miss,'' he said.
"That byplay between me and Mike, I miss that occasionally," Russo said. "I can't deny it. But overall, I don't have any regrets.''
Francesa still has neither hired a new sidekick nor ruled out doing so eventually. The urgency has been eased by the fact his ratings have held up well.
What about Russo's? There are none on satellite radio, and Sirius XM says there is no reliable way to measure his audience.
Instead, Russo said his feedback comes mostly from callers. There are more of them than in the early days of "Mad Dog Unleashed,'' which premiered eight months ago Friday, but Russo estimated 70 percent still come from the tri-state area.
The best part of the new job, he said, is the freedom he has to discuss what he wants and go where he wants, including a number of road trips that never would have happened at WFAN.
"Nobody looks over my shoulder and tells me I can or cannot do this or that,'' he said.
From 2 to 7 Wednesday he covered a broad range of topics and took calls from Manhattan to Maui. He led with Magic-Celtics - On Dwight Howard: "Keep your big, fat trap shut!'' - but he dealt with the Mets and Yankees and had guests from Charles Barkley to Ed Olczyk to Len Berman.
"One thing I don't miss is nine million calls a day about whether Joba should be in the rotation,'' he said. "Or nine million calls in the wintertime about how the Mets have to sign Manny Ramirez.''
With only four ad breaks per hour, Russo has the luxury of more time, but that puts a greater burden on his voice, which gave out for a week in November. He said he did a "terrible job'' of taking care of himself but now is more careful.
Russo's deal is believed to be worth $3 million a year, but Sirius XM has been in a precarious financial state. Is he concerned?
"I think we're going to make it,'' he said. "I don't go to work every day wondering if this place is going to collapse. And don't forget, CBS Radio ain't doing that great, either. If we're doing bad we've got a lot of company.''
"Mad Dog Radio,'' for which he is executive producer, now is a 24-hour sports talk outlet. He said he would give himself a better grade for doing that part of his job than for his own show.
Meanwhile, at his old home, he is gone but not forgotten.
Russo said he had heard about Carton's imitation but not heard much of it himself.
"I don't think it's malicious," he said. "I take it as a compliment.''
Friday, May 15, 2009
Friday on the FAN
I expect a very lovey-dovey show today. Preakness is running, NY baseball teams are winning and we have two NBA Game 7's on Sunday. Not a lot to complain about although I'm sure we'll get the requisite complaints about:
1. Yankee stadium seating, pricing and shutting out the downtrodden
2. NYM bullpen
3. Reyes flamboyant, non-Jeteresque playing style
4. CC not throwing enough no hitters and Texeira not leading the league in helping old ladies across the street
Aside from all that, we'll probably get Barkley on, some horse trainers, Eddie C. and Sweeny and everyone will have a good old fashioned love-in. Should be nice.
I was thinking, though, that instead of Mike and Barkley talking about screen and rolls, home court advantage, Paul "Clutch" Pierce, the Black Mamba and Artest it would be nice if we could spend some time on Pau Gasol. Now I have no idea what kind of playoffs he's been having but I do know that he's doing a great impersonation of this guy. I wonder if he croons "A Pair of Brown Eyes" at home? Anyway, looking at that mug over the past few days it got me remembering an old Vescey column from the 80's that featured a piece on Paul Mokeski. Paraphrasing here, but what he said was, "Even when Mokeski plays well, he still looks bad. Someone should put a hand in face and leave it there." Classic stuff from a classic writer. When's his Gasol piece coming?
Then, Mike will go on and on about the filly tomorrow as Gman previously alluded to on this here blog. He'll have his theories and he'll listen to some others and it'll be all very coma inducing for 98% of his listening audience. Basically, typical Mike on a racing day. I will grant him this, however...At least he won't spout the nonsense that R. Reilly puked all over his column today. No freaking way it's getting linked here so if you want a nice queasy feeling later on today, find and read it.
All in all, I expect an upbeat show with NY baseball fans calming themselves down and patting each other on the back.
Happy Friday and I hope you all win your trifectas tomorrow.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
ANNIVERSARY
Just like ARod couldn't remember things when he was young, we all probably can't quite remember May 14th, 2008. So FTLT and I have put together a time capsule of what was going on this time last year.
- The Mets sat in 3rd place at 20-18
- Tampa Bay Rays were 79 days away from being taken seriously
- Mets core consisted of Wright, Reyes, Beltran and Delgado
- Tony Bernazard was about to be public enemy #1 in NY
- Homeland security threat level was Yellow
- The Yanks were in 4th place at 20-21
- Joba was a reliever
- Syesha Mercado is eliminated from American Idol leaving David Archuleta and David Cook in the final.
- Eli Manning was getting a free meal somewhere
- It was Israel’s 60th birthday
- Unlike Rachel Alexandra, the filly Eight Belles was not alive enough to enter the Preakness
- Arod was on Boli
- Hillary Clinton beats a certain Illinois senator in the West Virginia primary
- Sue Simmons apologized for using the F-word on air
- Bronson Arroyo was 2-4 with a 6.09 ERA
- That McLouth kid was hitting .304 with 10 homers
- US Dept. of Interior listed the polar bear as a threatened species under the Endangered Species Act (ESA)
- Gabagool was our only commenter
- mikefrancesa.com banned gman26’s IP address
- Mike and Chris were happy partners
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
I'M TIRED
In some senses it's boring that I'm writing another boring post about how boring Mike'd Up Francesa on the Fan is. But what can you do? There is no Sheriff Bart to come and rescue Mike. Apparently, he has successfully resisted all overtures for a co-host. Instead, we are consigned to a daily dose of retread opinions and long-standing biases spoken in an unenthusiastic delivery from a man who is clearly bored at the sound of his own voice.
Maybe I'm just having a bad day. Maybe Francesa will charm me back with ratings talk(where the hell has that been anyway?) or discussing the filly's chances this weekend. But for now, I'm just tired.
The Repeat Caller
Monday, May 11, 2009
What We Have Learned Today
Friday, May 8, 2009
Booed Up
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Mike's Kryptonite
- David Wright delivers a game-winning walk off hit 3 days in a row
- YES does a video montage of Joba's 12ks to the song "You're Simply the Best"
- Reading Bronson Arroyo's line from last night: 1.0 IP, 81.00 ERA, 10.00 WHIP
- Andy Pettitte changes his name to Andrew
- Michael Kay's show beats Mike'd Up in the ratings
- Daniel Murphy goes 6 games without misplaying a ball
- The expensive seats at Yankee Stadium remain unoccupied
- The Yanks reacquire Farnsworth and Hawkins to solidify the bullpen
- Jon Heyman and Omar Minaya stop taking Mike's calls
- Sweeny Murti and Eddie Coleman attack Mike instead of vice versa
- Saratoga Racetrack issues a press release saying that due to the economy they are shutting down
- Chris Russo reveals his new friendship with Bill Parcells
- Tom Coughlin informs Mike that no one uses the term "max protect" anymore
- Diet Soda vending machine at WFAN breaks down
We're quite certain that these events all transpiring around the same time would have the same effect on Francesa that kryptonite has on Superman. But what did we miss?
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Mike's Nightmare
Across town, on the other hand, is a bunch of lucky prima donnas who are lucky they play in an inferior division in an inferior league. They have no grit at all. No dirty uniforms and not enough edge! Delgado is obviously unable to perform under the bright lights of this city, Wright can't hit in a big spot and Luis Castillo kicks dogs and trips old people.
GMan, I think all of this will save us from much on Favre, thankfully. Also, the NBA is not compelling enough yet so I bet we get wall to wall NY baseball today. Starting with the poor play of the Yanks before moving to the luck of the Mets and Sawx. This is gonna be fun!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
The Cold Water Express
Best Weekend of the Year (Delayed)
Mets played the Phils, Yanks played Anaheim, the Derby was run and Manny Pac laid waste to my beloved Hitman. All in all, a better weekend could not be had for a sports fan.
I missed most of Mike's show yesterday so I don't know what he touched upon. Did he spend time on the A-Rod book? Did he speak about the NYY comeback on Friday night? Was it a seminal moment? Does he anticipate a coming together for the team? Did he deride the Mets performance on Saturday and question the Perez signing again? I'm pretty sure he spent time on the Derby. Did he give the winner credit or did he call it a fluke. Did he offer any insight that only an "insider" could provide? Did he even mention Manny Pac? Did he know there was a fight?
Now it's Tuesday and the Mets played a good game and the Yanks played a poor one will his opinions change? Is it nice to see Tex break out of his slump even though the Yanks are now 0-4 against the Sawx? Will be blast the Yanks for locking paying fans out of the game even though the stadium was at about 35% capacity?
Will he give Heyman a spot today so he can spread some more news on various Boras clients including this guy?
Friday, May 1, 2009
Ellipticall'd Up
Anyway, with the Feud over, it was time to get back to Francesa. Horse racing talk must be over right? Wrong. Tom Hammond from NBC Sports was on. I learned that Mike is not comfortable with the surface at the Derby. It's probably a good thing then that he's actually not racing on it. I also learned more than I ever wanted to about turf tracks. Time to switch the channel. I briefly ended up on some VH1 reality show with some hot girls walking around practically naked. I kind of wanted to leave it on this show but there was a girl next to me on another eliptical and somehow I felt dirty and sleazy watching this show, as if I was viewing porn in a public place. Next up was SNY, which was airing the Mets first home game after 9/11. As a Mets fan, I miss that team. Fonzie, a juiced up Piazza, Ventura, Bobby V, Bruce Chen...okay, maybe I don't miss Bruce Chen. It was early in the game and it was clear my workout was not going to last until Piazza's epic bomb, so it was time to switch back to Francesa, who must have been on to something different by now. Wrong again. Hammond was still on. And Mike delivered one of his famous "No Question" Questions. What is this you ask? These are questions where Mike asks his guest something, then provides the answer to his own question, then waits for the interview subject to agree with Mike, then follows that up with the words "no question." Today's example was Mike asking Hammond about who a mystery horse was in the Derby, then answering it himself, tossing it to Hammond for him to agree with, then finishing the thought with "no question."
And that's where my patience and workout ran out. I will say that my time on the elliptical did seem to fly by....
TALE OF TWO SHOWS
Mike briefly touched on Game 6 of the Bulls/Celtics in his open. Even though this series is going down as one of most memorable in history of NBA, Mike must have his qualifiers. He has said that the series at times is 'not well-played' and on the air yesterday with Barkley, he called it 'bizarre'. He conceded that it was a great series, but he has a talent for sucking the positive vibe out of something. He bemoaned the Saturday night game time for game 7 saying, "The NBA is trying to hide their games now." At times like this, I say to myself, 'Is this guy that self-loathing?' I already know the answer.
So while Russo's show probably jetted off into an entertaining 5 hours, Mike got away from the NBA to lead with a very stale topic, the Mets. Of course, once he does this he invites callers who bring up his vendetta against Wright. As a result, the show takes on a negative feel, which permeates the airwaves, depressing the hell out of me. But I guess you reap what you sow.