Over/Under

With the season upon us, it's time for our special version of Over/Under. The following are statements Mike is bound to make this baseball season accompanied by our official Mikeandthemadblog over/under line on how many times Francesa will make each remark:

- David Wright is not clutch (Over/Under: 12 mentions)
- Says 'We're back'(using a rough formula 52 weeks in a year minus the whole summer equals 40. 5 shows a week, 10 times a day = Over/Under 2,000 mentions)
- Notes how Yankees Stadium and Citi Field are 'different' (Over/Under: 80 mentions)
- Talks about trading for Nate McLouth (Over/Under: 25 mentions)
- Insists that Joba would be better in the bullpen (Over/Under: 31 mentions)
- Calls out Jose Reyes for his excessive celebrations (Over/Under: 51 mentions)
- Uses the words "Talk to me in August" to describe an early contender that he doesn't take serious (Over/Under: 63 mentions)
- Uses the words "The Great" before saying Mariano's name (Over/Under: 29 mentions)
- References Arod's MVP season from 2 years ago when a caller compains that Arod has been a disappointment (Over/Under: 7 mentions)

Okay, we now open the betting to you. Give us your picks on where Mike will end up on these over/unders. Or just add your own to the list....

WTFC

Today I am starting a new segment on this blog called WTFC (Who The F*%& Cares). This segment will be devoted to portions of the show where Mike delves into topics that need no delving. So today with the start of the baseball season on the horizon, Francesa opens the show with the following topics:

The Knicks situation: Mike is angry with the Knickerbockers because they might not reach his magic number of wins that he predicted. So he wants Harrington, Robinson and Lee gone. They're not worth a penny in Mike's eyes.

The Hornets trying to win 7 more games: Again, Mike is obsessed with a team because he wants them to reach his predicted fate for them. He's making excuses for how banged up they are, but leading with them seems appropriate to him.

Baylor's NIT run: Mike is impressed that they won an 11AM game on the road and he finds them to be a fascinating story to watch as the NIT continues.

Calipari's coaching decision: While this is big national news, WTFC cares right now about this here in New York.

Georgia is after the Missouri coach: The fact that Mike even mentioned this in the open of the show is mind boggling. Georgia is after the Missouri coach? WTFC!!!!!

Calhoun will be on the show: Mike felt the need to address the callers who have apparently been asking when Jimmy was gonna be on the air again. Mike informs us that today is the day. Anyone else sick of the Calhoun spots? What new are we going to learn today? These are becoming the Jon Heyman spots of the baseball season.

Mike closed the open teasing some baseball talk later today but for me, who the f*&% cared about that open?

FRANCESSIFIED

I'm an educated man but I can't speak to the show opening habits of Mike Francesa. After a good sports weekend, which included a couple of surprise Final Four participants, one great ending and Tiger announcing his return, Mike starts off with some rant about...I don't know exactly. He's angry. Angry at someone for ruining the opening of both New York ball parks. He started off by blaming the Mets for blowing their opening with a college baseball game. But then he just started implore people to unite and enjoy the upcoming openings. Obviously using the word 'unite' combined with Mike Francesa is a bit of a contradiction. Mike Francesa doesn't not unite people. That's not his bag.

But Mike just wants a love-in. He said, "Everybody let's forget about all the financial problems." Easy for you to say Mike. How's that salary? Enough to feed your wife and kids. Yes, I think so.

So basically I am asking for help. Because I don't know where he is coming from and what he is talking about. Any ideas?

Mike-isms

A couple commenters here have brought up Mike's annoying use of the word "tre" today. Francesa has a bag full of these phrases that he uses to make him sound...well I'm not entirely sure what to make him sound. But those who listen to Francesa knows he loves these terms. So I was trying to think about a list of the most annoying Mike-Isms. Here's a couple:

- Tre (to describe a three)
- Mr. T
- The Kid, the quaterback, the shortstop (any of these in which Francesa wont actually name the player)
- Omahhh (not really an ism, but hate the way he pronounces Minaya's first name)
- Mr. Met (for Bob Heussler)

Okay, time for your additions. What Mike-isms drive you crazy?

RHETORICAL SONG AND DANCE

Long time ago in college, I learned about this rhetorical device call Inoculation. Basically, a speaker would use this technique to inoculate himself from some sort of criticism by giving his audience a weak version of the criticism. Today, Mike Francesa came out today using that technique to defend UConn head coach Jim Calhoun. He started off by using the excuse that everyone is basically corrupt in college sports. But then he began to inoculate us against any criticism by bringing up the idiocy of the rules. "They should be allowed to make as many phone calls as they want. Who cares?" and "UConn made 15,000 calls on the record! Obviously they weren't too concerned about the phone calls." Also, he used the 'Everyboy's doing it defense' which confirms that he is immature in many ways.

This screed by Mike was obviously a pre-emptive strike to ward off endless calls into the show today about Mike's relationship with Jim Calhoun. He rambled on about you can't fix the system and you can't police everyone. Mike apparently regards these accusations as trivial. "We go through this song and dance every year," Mike said. Of course, there is hypocrisy to the system, Mike. But the song and dance is part of checks and balances. If there were no investigations, then the current system would spiral out of control. That has already happened in the past. So sorry if this indiscretion ruined your love-in with Coach Calhoun but the rules are there for a reason. You can't just dismiss them because one of your guests is the target.

Here was First Time, Long Time's Take on the open:

Mike opened the show going on a tirade against the "establishment" that questions NCAA recruiting violations. Francesa is incensed at these people that get all up in arms over these moralistic qualms with the current system. While he admitted that the "NCAA is a joke" he then completely diminised that statement by saying "it's the only system we have." Essentially, Mikey is annoyed that once a year these people come out of the woodworks and cry foul at some little violation. Mike would prefer in the words of one Colonel Nathan Jessep that these people just said "thank you and went on their way." Otherwise, they better pick up an NCAA rules book and stand guard. But if you read between the lines here, Mike is just upset that people are going after his buddy Jim Calhoun. Francesa always comes to the defense of his allies. And he seems to be taking on the world right now. He is channelling Jessep. It's almost like he just wants to say to all those people investigating Calhoun "What I want is for you to stand there with your faggoty white notepads, and with your Connecticut School of Broadcasting mouths, extend me some fuckin' courtesty."

PAHH-TAKE

Well, for all of you turned off by the WBC talk, I bring you TicketGate. The early part of Mike's show brought us endless calls about the inflated prices of Yankees tickets. One guy got so wrapped up in the opening day ticket scenarios that he thoroughly confused me, Mike and probably countless others listening. But then Lisa from Whitestone got on to battle the big man(Mike Francesa. This is for SEO purposes). She totally disagreed with Mike's contention that it was ok for the Yankees to charge these high prices. Mike was patient with her, no doubt because she is a woman. But in the end, Lisa's spleen received a full venting about how the Yankees have basically affronted her loyalty throughout the years.

Mike informed us, 'The Yankees are in a volume business. They want you to pahh-take in the stadium. To buy the programs. To buy concessions.' Now Mike isn't condoning the high prices. But his premise more or less says 'if you don't want to go, then don't buy tickets.' A highly simplistic yet truthful comment. On this account, I agree with Mike. But what he fails to do is finish that thought. Meaning, if enough people don't go, then the Yankees will get the message and lower prices. As Yogi Berra once said, "If the fans don't want to come out to the park, I can't stop 'em."

Now I have spent more time writing on this incredibly boring topic than I bother to listen to. But apparently this issue has legs as the callers keep on coming. But from now on, when TicketGate rears its ugly head, I won't pah-take.

Mike the Phony

So for all of us out there who have listened to Mike Francesa over the past year, there are 3 unavoidable truths that we know. Here they are:

1) Mike told CC Sabathia to "get lost!!!" Francesa told listeners Sabathia wasn't even that great and that he "hoped" the Yanks didn't get him. Mikey was annoyed at the games CC was playing and wanted no part of Sabathia. Days later he was in pinstripes.

2) Mike mocked the Braves who were about to give AJ Burnett around $70 million during the offseason. The big man laughed that any team would commit that many years and dollars to the injury prone righty. A week later, AJ was in the Bronx.

3) Mike pleaded over and over to anyone who would listen that Joba Chamerblain had one purpose on this planet: to set up the great Mariano. He presided over the Joba Wars, throwing out names like Goose Gossage. Mike made it clear, that on no uncertain terms, Mr. Chamerblain needed to be a reliever. Francesa criticized Joba as a starter, claiming he was not that dominant. Months later, number 62 is penciled in the starting rotation.

But for those that caught some of today's open, Mike boasted about the dominant starting rotation that the Yankees had. The only other teams that were even on that level were the Rays and the Red Sox. To listen to Mke gush about the starting 5 for the Yanks, one would think this was Francesa's dream rotation. The one that he had petitioned for all off season. The 5 guys he wanted to go to war with any day. But those who have listened for the past year know otherwise. Don't let the big man fool you. Mike, I have two words for you: Get Lost.

BFF'S

In case you weren't listening to Mad Dog today, he gave a belated Happy Birthday to Mike Francesa. I was a little surprised because it makes it seem like they get along. Or maybe they exchange gifts every year. But what made it especially strange was that he mentioned this late shout-out because a caller brought up the death of ABC Radio personality George Weber. For some reason, the mention of a slain radio host got him thinking about Mike. Maybe it's not that strange after all.

Also, I've listened to a little of both shows today(that is Mad Dog Unleashed and Mike'd Up Francesa on the Fan). They seem to be on the same page. They're both killing CBS' coverage of the tournament over the weekend. There's no doubt that CBS does more harm than good sometimes with their peripatetic switching between games, but is that the lead from the weekend? In Mike and Chris' world, it apparently is. It's just too bad that they aren't doing their show together today. They could talk about birthdays and Sean McManus.

My Re-Introduction to the Show

Well, I did my best to listen to the Big Fella today. It's been awhile so I picked up on some things:

Pitt was sleepwalking and ETSU was not scared

The college coaches he had on offered very little insight and seemed to agree with Mike at every turn

WVA will NOT make it to the 2nd weekend and I will not win my bracket dinner bet with my brother

Mizzou is hell bent on bankrupting me

Most of the callers are worse than Mike's jingle

Here's hoping for a couple good games tonight and over the weekend.

March Madness; Laziness

I have not had a chance to listen to Mike all week. I am going to try and tune into his opening in a few and see what he has to say on the state of all things. I mean, he's got college hoops, baseball, Obama and Leno, AIG bonuses etc, etc. to go after today. Where will he start?

So, who does he like in the tourney? Has he predicted his Final Four? I know he's got a little ammo today to go after the Big Ten as the Hilltoppers shocked the Illini. College hoops are not my forte but here is my Final Four anyway: Louisville, Memphis, 'Nova and UNC. Got Memphis and UNC in the final with Memphis finishing what they started last year.

Anyone else feel like posting Final Four picks? Let's hear 'em!

David's Dilemma

It appears the loyal commenters beat me to the punch here but here goes anyway. Please note, I did NOT watch this "exhibition" game as I had some "Lost" to watch. Plus, a well known, knowlegable, NY sports personality told me it meant "Nothin."

Anyway, David done did it now. Mr. Non-Clutch clutched in a game winning hit in what amounts to a scrimmage. Did it against his teammates too. I just get the feeling that in the eyes of the Big Fella David would've been better off rejecting the offer to play for the USA and let Craig Biggio get that game winning knock. As it is, he "came up big" in a non "big spot". In a game that meant nothing. Against a pitcher lesser than Brad Lidge. I imagine this will be Mike's take.

Now, from all reports the game winning hit was only overshadowed by the apparent brutal defensive display by Captain America. Can anyone elaborate? Is it possible that the shoddy NYY defense will be even worse than anticipated?

Nothing Good Happens After Midnight...

Mike just got into the Bernie Williams story, where a woman is accusing him of hitting her in the face and breaking her camera at a club in Puerto Rico at 2:30am. Mike can't possibly fathom that Bernie would have done this - nor can I for that matter. BUT, last week Mike went on a whole diatribe about Duaner Sanchez's cab injury a few years back when he was out at 2 in the morning. As Mike said the other day "nothing good happens after midnight." Mike was adamant about the fact that Sanchez had no business being out that late when he was with his team. Now I am assuming Bernie was with the Puerto Rican WBC team at the time of this incident, so why haven't we at least heard those same words from Mike about nothing good happening after midnight? Interesting how Mike sees similar things in completely different ways..

MIKE THE COLOR MAN

Today, Mike is playing analyst for the Big East Championship. I haven't heard much of it but he has already pulled out "He broke the seal on that one." I'm an educated man but I admit I have never heard that term when calling a basketball game. This sort of seems like when ESPN let Chris Berman start calling baseball games because they wanted to keep their prize asset happy.

Any other thoughts on this bold experiment?

Things Mike will talk about instead of the WBC

Anyone listening to Mike'd Up today knows that Francesa will talk about anything rather than get into the World Baseball Classic. He has made his point that he thinks it is an exhibition, which for the most part, I totally agree with. But here's the thing - even if you view it as an exhibition, you can't deny that last night a great game was played between the Netherlands and the Dominican Republic. But Mike will have none of that. He'll bore you with the details of the Jay Cutler QB controversy in Denver (hey Mike, this is a NEW YORK sports talk station), he'll give us play by play of the Depaul game (Hey Mike, we have tv's also), he'll tell you about the Butler game last night (Hey Mike, no one gives a shit), he'll tell you about the Knicks magic number of reaching 33 wins (Hey Mike, what happens then???), he'll tell you about how he kept an eye on the Cavs game last night cause they were down 14 at the half (Hey Mike, I think the Cavs will be okay) - but what he won't tell you about are his thoughts on the dramatic game last night between those kids from the red light district versus the boys from the Dominican...

Another Case of Framnesia

Francesa just went at with Mike from Montclair over whether or not to bat Cano cleanup. Mike from Montclair argued against the move, claiming that Cano doesn't get enough bit hits and is not a clutch player. Francesa shot back "you can't say that yet, he's too young" about Cano being unclutch. Again, another case of Framnesia for Mike. Francesa spent the offseason telling us that David Wright is not clutch and will never be clutch. Here's a newsflash: Wright is younger than Cano. Nice selective memory there big man...

Francesa's Lineup

Does Mike realize that he is not the skipper of the Yankees? I have just listened to 5 minutes too much of the big man pontificating about how he would set the Yankees batting order..."I don't want Gardner at the top...I'm gonna challenge Cano and put him in the cleanup spot.." If there is anything worse than listening to Mike use nicknames like "Mr. T", it would be hearing him morph into Coach speak. We've all heard him espouse the virtues of playing Cover 2 vs Cover 3 and we've endured countless "I would play pick and roll" conversations, but for some reason, today's 5 minute session of Francesa setting his Yankees lineup has driven me batty. Mikey wants Cano hitting cleanup. I mean, forget the fact that after last season, Francesa had Cano's bags packed just as fast as David Wrights. That's just a simple case of what I like to call Francesa Amnesia (Remember his words to CC a couple months ago "GET LOST!!!") But if I have to listen to him alert the audience that he is going to "present" this idea to Girardi today for one more minute, I am going to lose it..

"...headache, fever and the chills..."

Title is part of a song from a movie...Anyone, anyone???

So, Mike's been out and the FAN's gone to the bullpen for help.  Wait, help?  That doesn't seem right.  They brought in Joe and Evan, right?  The worst two regular guys on the station, correct?  At least, that's what I thought.  Looks like I was sorely mistaken.  It appears that these clowns get some positive feedback here.  Let's hash this out and see what we can unearth...

I do think this is the worst show on the FAN.  I realize that that's only really comparing them to B & C and Mike but still...I mean, I suppose you could make an argument that a potential combo of other hosts could be worse (Neer and The Bull; Eddie C. and Somers, etc.) but now, they're horrible.  Kinda like a cleansing of the palette between the morning show and Mike.  Look, neither one of these guys have any sports knowledge at all.  Their arguments/opinions, to me, seem echoed and each one has in some way or another adopted components of other hosts (Mad Dog > Joe and Mike > Evan).  For a young guy, Evan has an impressive repertoire of sports history.  Clearly he's read.  Good for him.  However, someone mentioned this week, via comment, that Evan brings a youthful flair to the air.  I strenuously object.  He rolls out tired old stats and opinions that are taken from curmudgeonly baseball scouts/writers/Mike Francesa and stands behind them.  The exact opposite of "youthful" or "fresh".  Joe, well, Joe is still pinching himself.  He got himself a dream gig and just like us, he's trying to figure out how that happened.  I mean, he has no fundamental knowledge of anything useful at all.  Ask him to explain why an NFL team made a move for cap purposes and his head's liable to explode.  To put it delicately, he's limited.

The posters here seem mixed.  Some seem to like these guys for some reason or other.  Let's hear it.  Why?  Are they better than the Big Fella?  Will I ever find true love?  Will David Wright ever be clutch?  These are the questions that need answering today.  

Oh yeah, I have long disparaged Kay's show because it's terrible.  In all ways, a horrible listen.  When pitted against Evan and Joe, however, it comes a little closer to entering the possible set.  Wow.

What We Have Learned Today

We have learned that after Mike ripped David Wright on Friday and called him immature on the air, he privately met with the Mets third basemen off the air for 45 minutes after the show. We have learned that both men cleared the air. We have learned that Mike is not good at issuing pseudo apologies. We have learned that Mike is speaking rather tepidly about the conversation between he and Wright, suggesting that maybe deep down Francesa might not be 100% pleased. We have learned that Mike thinks the WBC is a gimmick. We have learned he believes baseball is trying to make it into the Ryder Cup. We have learned Mike is not buying into it. We have learned Mike will however watch Puerto Rico because he wants to see Bernie swing the bat a few times. We have learned that Posada’s health is a big factor for the Yanks this spring training. We have learned that it snows more in Astoria then anywhere else in the NY area and that the streets in Queens are never plowed. We have learned that despite having dinner with Omar in Florida and talking to Jeff Wilpon, neither man filled Mikey in on the fact that Johan might be Jo-Gone. We have learned that when a caller takes Mike to task on something he said (like say comparing the WBC being a gimmick to the AL’s institution of the DH also being a gimmick), that the big man will have no part of it. We have learned he will quickly flash a handwave, taking the caller’s voice away and then denounce such person a “moron.” Actually, we didn’t really learn that today. We always knew that one. We have learned that Mike is the Commissioner of PSL's. We have learned that Mr. T will be on in the 3 o'clock hour. What we have not learned yet, as of 2:00PM is why Mike’d Up went to Port St. Lucie last week if they couldn’t get a single player to sit face-to-face with Francesa?