Over/Under

With the season upon us, it's time for our special version of Over/Under. The following are statements Mike is bound to make this baseball season accompanied by our official Mikeandthemadblog over/under line on how many times Francesa will make each remark:

- David Wright is not clutch (Over/Under: 12 mentions)
- Says 'We're back'(using a rough formula 52 weeks in a year minus the whole summer equals 40. 5 shows a week, 10 times a day = Over/Under 2,000 mentions)
- Notes how Yankees Stadium and Citi Field are 'different' (Over/Under: 80 mentions)
- Talks about trading for Nate McLouth (Over/Under: 25 mentions)
- Insists that Joba would be better in the bullpen (Over/Under: 31 mentions)
- Calls out Jose Reyes for his excessive celebrations (Over/Under: 51 mentions)
- Uses the words "Talk to me in August" to describe an early contender that he doesn't take serious (Over/Under: 63 mentions)
- Uses the words "The Great" before saying Mariano's name (Over/Under: 29 mentions)
- References Arod's MVP season from 2 years ago when a caller compains that Arod has been a disappointment (Over/Under: 7 mentions)

Okay, we now open the betting to you. Give us your picks on where Mike will end up on these over/unders. Or just add your own to the list....

WTFC

Today I am starting a new segment on this blog called WTFC (Who The F*%& Cares). This segment will be devoted to portions of the show where Mike delves into topics that need no delving. So today with the start of the baseball season on the horizon, Francesa opens the show with the following topics:

The Knicks situation: Mike is angry with the Knickerbockers because they might not reach his magic number of wins that he predicted. So he wants Harrington, Robinson and Lee gone. They're not worth a penny in Mike's eyes.

The Hornets trying to win 7 more games: Again, Mike is obsessed with a team because he wants them to reach his predicted fate for them. He's making excuses for how banged up they are, but leading with them seems appropriate to him.

Baylor's NIT run: Mike is impressed that they won an 11AM game on the road and he finds them to be a fascinating story to watch as the NIT continues.

Calipari's coaching decision: While this is big national news, WTFC cares right now about this here in New York.

Georgia is after the Missouri coach: The fact that Mike even mentioned this in the open of the show is mind boggling. Georgia is after the Missouri coach? WTFC!!!!!

Calhoun will be on the show: Mike felt the need to address the callers who have apparently been asking when Jimmy was gonna be on the air again. Mike informs us that today is the day. Anyone else sick of the Calhoun spots? What new are we going to learn today? These are becoming the Jon Heyman spots of the baseball season.

Mike closed the open teasing some baseball talk later today but for me, who the f*&% cared about that open?

FRANCESSIFIED

I'm an educated man but I can't speak to the show opening habits of Mike Francesa. After a good sports weekend, which included a couple of surprise Final Four participants, one great ending and Tiger announcing his return, Mike starts off with some rant about...I don't know exactly. He's angry. Angry at someone for ruining the opening of both New York ball parks. He started off by blaming the Mets for blowing their opening with a college baseball game. But then he just started implore people to unite and enjoy the upcoming openings. Obviously using the word 'unite' combined with Mike Francesa is a bit of a contradiction. Mike Francesa doesn't not unite people. That's not his bag.

But Mike just wants a love-in. He said, "Everybody let's forget about all the financial problems." Easy for you to say Mike. How's that salary? Enough to feed your wife and kids. Yes, I think so.

So basically I am asking for help. Because I don't know where he is coming from and what he is talking about. Any ideas?

Mike-isms

A couple commenters here have brought up Mike's annoying use of the word "tre" today. Francesa has a bag full of these phrases that he uses to make him sound...well I'm not entirely sure what to make him sound. But those who listen to Francesa knows he loves these terms. So I was trying to think about a list of the most annoying Mike-Isms. Here's a couple:

- Tre (to describe a three)
- Mr. T
- The Kid, the quaterback, the shortstop (any of these in which Francesa wont actually name the player)
- Omahhh (not really an ism, but hate the way he pronounces Minaya's first name)
- Mr. Met (for Bob Heussler)

Okay, time for your additions. What Mike-isms drive you crazy?

RHETORICAL SONG AND DANCE

Long time ago in college, I learned about this rhetorical device call Inoculation. Basically, a speaker would use this technique to inoculate himself from some sort of criticism by giving his audience a weak version of the criticism. Today, Mike Francesa came out today using that technique to defend UConn head coach Jim Calhoun. He started off by using the excuse that everyone is basically corrupt in college sports. But then he began to inoculate us against any criticism by bringing up the idiocy of the rules. "They should be allowed to make as many phone calls as they want. Who cares?" and "UConn made 15,000 calls on the record! Obviously they weren't too concerned about the phone calls." Also, he used the 'Everyboy's doing it defense' which confirms that he is immature in many ways.

This screed by Mike was obviously a pre-emptive strike to ward off endless calls into the show today about Mike's relationship with Jim Calhoun. He rambled on about you can't fix the system and you can't police everyone. Mike apparently regards these accusations as trivial. "We go through this song and dance every year," Mike said. Of course, there is hypocrisy to the system, Mike. But the song and dance is part of checks and balances. If there were no investigations, then the current system would spiral out of control. That has already happened in the past. So sorry if this indiscretion ruined your love-in with Coach Calhoun but the rules are there for a reason. You can't just dismiss them because one of your guests is the target.

Here was First Time, Long Time's Take on the open:

Mike opened the show going on a tirade against the "establishment" that questions NCAA recruiting violations. Francesa is incensed at these people that get all up in arms over these moralistic qualms with the current system. While he admitted that the "NCAA is a joke" he then completely diminised that statement by saying "it's the only system we have." Essentially, Mikey is annoyed that once a year these people come out of the woodworks and cry foul at some little violation. Mike would prefer in the words of one Colonel Nathan Jessep that these people just said "thank you and went on their way." Otherwise, they better pick up an NCAA rules book and stand guard. But if you read between the lines here, Mike is just upset that people are going after his buddy Jim Calhoun. Francesa always comes to the defense of his allies. And he seems to be taking on the world right now. He is channelling Jessep. It's almost like he just wants to say to all those people investigating Calhoun "What I want is for you to stand there with your faggoty white notepads, and with your Connecticut School of Broadcasting mouths, extend me some fuckin' courtesty."

PAHH-TAKE

Well, for all of you turned off by the WBC talk, I bring you TicketGate. The early part of Mike's show brought us endless calls about the inflated prices of Yankees tickets. One guy got so wrapped up in the opening day ticket scenarios that he thoroughly confused me, Mike and probably countless others listening. But then Lisa from Whitestone got on to battle the big man(Mike Francesa. This is for SEO purposes). She totally disagreed with Mike's contention that it was ok for the Yankees to charge these high prices. Mike was patient with her, no doubt because she is a woman. But in the end, Lisa's spleen received a full venting about how the Yankees have basically affronted her loyalty throughout the years.

Mike informed us, 'The Yankees are in a volume business. They want you to pahh-take in the stadium. To buy the programs. To buy concessions.' Now Mike isn't condoning the high prices. But his premise more or less says 'if you don't want to go, then don't buy tickets.' A highly simplistic yet truthful comment. On this account, I agree with Mike. But what he fails to do is finish that thought. Meaning, if enough people don't go, then the Yankees will get the message and lower prices. As Yogi Berra once said, "If the fans don't want to come out to the park, I can't stop 'em."

Now I have spent more time writing on this incredibly boring topic than I bother to listen to. But apparently this issue has legs as the callers keep on coming. But from now on, when TicketGate rears its ugly head, I won't pah-take.

Mike the Phony

So for all of us out there who have listened to Mike Francesa over the past year, there are 3 unavoidable truths that we know. Here they are:

1) Mike told CC Sabathia to "get lost!!!" Francesa told listeners Sabathia wasn't even that great and that he "hoped" the Yanks didn't get him. Mikey was annoyed at the games CC was playing and wanted no part of Sabathia. Days later he was in pinstripes.

2) Mike mocked the Braves who were about to give AJ Burnett around $70 million during the offseason. The big man laughed that any team would commit that many years and dollars to the injury prone righty. A week later, AJ was in the Bronx.

3) Mike pleaded over and over to anyone who would listen that Joba Chamerblain had one purpose on this planet: to set up the great Mariano. He presided over the Joba Wars, throwing out names like Goose Gossage. Mike made it clear, that on no uncertain terms, Mr. Chamerblain needed to be a reliever. Francesa criticized Joba as a starter, claiming he was not that dominant. Months later, number 62 is penciled in the starting rotation.

But for those that caught some of today's open, Mike boasted about the dominant starting rotation that the Yankees had. The only other teams that were even on that level were the Rays and the Red Sox. To listen to Mke gush about the starting 5 for the Yanks, one would think this was Francesa's dream rotation. The one that he had petitioned for all off season. The 5 guys he wanted to go to war with any day. But those who have listened for the past year know otherwise. Don't let the big man fool you. Mike, I have two words for you: Get Lost.