Mike's Kryptonite

When this blog was first created, one thing I never thought I would do was write a post that included the names Mike Francesa and Superman in the same paragraph. But here goes. We all know about Superman and more importantly, we know that the caped superhero was vulnerable to kryptonite. Exposure to the mineral debris weakened and had the potential to kill him. So what does this have to do with the host of the number 1 ranked sports talk radio show in the country? Not much really. But it got me thinking that every person has something that can nullify their powers and debilatate them. For Superman, it was the radioactive material from Krypton. So what exactly then is Mike Francesa's kryptonite? Anyone that has followed Francesa and the New York baseball scene this week has noticed signs of cracks in the big man's foundation. But what exactly is the perfect storm of events that would bring Francesa to his knees - what is his krpytonite? After careful consideration, we have determined the following things all occuring would be his undoing:

- David Wright delivers a game-winning walk off hit 3 days in a row
- YES does a video montage of Joba's 12ks to the song "You're Simply the Best"
- Reading Bronson Arroyo's line from last night: 1.0 IP, 81.00 ERA, 10.00 WHIP
- Andy Pettitte changes his name to Andrew
- Michael Kay's show beats Mike'd Up in the ratings
- Daniel Murphy goes 6 games without misplaying a ball
- The expensive seats at Yankee Stadium remain unoccupied
- The Yanks reacquire Farnsworth and Hawkins to solidify the bullpen
- Jon Heyman and Omar Minaya stop taking Mike's calls
- Sweeny Murti and Eddie Coleman attack Mike instead of vice versa
- Saratoga Racetrack issues a press release saying that due to the economy they are shutting down
- Chris Russo reveals his new friendship with Bill Parcells
- Tom Coughlin informs Mike that no one uses the term "max protect" anymore
- Diet Soda vending machine at WFAN breaks down

We're quite certain that these events all transpiring around the same time would have the same effect on Francesa that kryptonite has on Superman. But what did we miss?

Mike's Nightmare

I am pretty sure this will be a totally Yankeecentric show. Mike is going to come out firing at the boys from the Bronx. No one will be safe as he turns both barrels on the front office, manager, coaches and the whole dang roster. o - 5 against the hated Sawx? Inexcusable! Inconceivable! I mean, come on, some of those guys are playing haard out there. The true Yanks like Capt. America, Cano (new addition), Andy and Mo are busting their tails out there! These mercenaries aren't worth the paper their contract's been written on, so far. The Yanks core is intact and showing the grit and hustle that wins games! These guys don't know what being a Yankee is about! They better learn or the Yanks will just swallow their mistakes, eat the $400 MM and find guys who know what this tradition is all about!

Across town, on the other hand, is a bunch of lucky prima donnas who are lucky they play in an inferior division in an inferior league. They have no grit at all. No dirty uniforms and not enough edge! Delgado is obviously unable to perform under the bright lights of this city, Wright can't hit in a big spot and Luis Castillo kicks dogs and trips old people.

GMan, I think all of this will save us from much on Favre, thankfully. Also, the NBA is not compelling enough yet so I bet we get wall to wall NY baseball today. Starting with the poor play of the Yanks before moving to the luck of the Mets and Sawx. This is gonna be fun!

The Cold Water Express

I caught just a few minutes of Mike'd Up today while in my car. But that little time was classic Francesa. For any Mets fan feeling a bit positive about last night's game in Atlanta, Mikey tossed some cold water on the Amazins victory. So after setting up the fact on Monday that the Mets had a huge 2 game series in Atlanta this week (where he pointed out that they are awful), Mike mostly dismissed last night's game by telling us that Atlanta isn't a good team. And that John Maine walked 6 batters. And that the Mets don't know what they are doing with Oliver Perez. And that Jose Reyes has only scored 10 runs this season. And that Ryan Church is going to lose his job to Sheffield. And that Daniel Murphy still can't play left field. And that this Japanese pitcher ain't going more than 5 innings. And that Jon Niese isn't pitching well in the minors. God knows what the big man would have said had the Mets lost last night. Thanks for providing some clarity today Mikey.

Best Weekend of the Year (Delayed)

Some people think it's Masters Weekend, others think it's the start of the NCAA tournament and still others think it's NFC/AFC Championship weekend. Me? I think it's the first Saturday in May. Baseball is in full swing, the Derby is on and there's usually a big fight. This past weekend fit that bill and it was as badass as ever.

Mets played the Phils, Yanks played Anaheim, the Derby was run and Manny Pac laid waste to my beloved Hitman. All in all, a better weekend could not be had for a sports fan.

I missed most of Mike's show yesterday so I don't know what he touched upon. Did he spend time on the A-Rod book? Did he speak about the NYY comeback on Friday night? Was it a seminal moment? Does he anticipate a coming together for the team? Did he deride the Mets performance on Saturday and question the Perez signing again? I'm pretty sure he spent time on the Derby. Did he give the winner credit or did he call it a fluke. Did he offer any insight that only an "insider" could provide? Did he even mention Manny Pac? Did he know there was a fight?

Now it's Tuesday and the Mets played a good game and the Yanks played a poor one will his opinions change? Is it nice to see Tex break out of his slump even though the Yanks are now 0-4 against the Sawx? Will be blast the Yanks for locking paying fans out of the game even though the stadium was at about 35% capacity?

Will he give Heyman a spot today so he can spread some more news on various Boras clients including this guy?

Ellipticall'd Up

I spent the last 40 minutes at the gym watching - make that trying to watch Mike'd Up while riding the Eliptical machine. Watching Francesa while working out is sort of a weird experience. I usually enjoy it because it makes the workout go by faster. But today was the extreme opposite. As soon as I entered my cardiac information, plugged my headphones in and found the YES Network, I was welcomed by Mikey interviewing someone from the Daily Racing Form. I mean I totally expected the customary horse racing spots today, but did they have to time it that I get some dude from the DRF at the onset of my workout? So what was I to do? Naturally I changed the channel. I landed on the Family Feud. Can you name the 4 most glamorous cities in the world, according to 100 people on the street? I will give you a hint as to one of them - it's a city that Mike often points to in analyzing the outcomes of sporting events...Anyway, I watched the father/son combo of Herb and Herbie (no joke) botch the $10,000 round. Name a place that you go to that's always crowded? Herbie went with the ballpark. Unfortunately only two people agreed. How about a country that starts with the letter "S"? Herb went with the Soviet Union. Zero people concurred. In case you are wondering, Spain was the number one answer. Herb squared ended up with a total of 126 points, 74 short of the promised land.

Anyway, with the Feud over, it was time to get back to Francesa. Horse racing talk must be over right? Wrong. Tom Hammond from NBC Sports was on. I learned that Mike is not comfortable with the surface at the Derby. It's probably a good thing then that he's actually not racing on it. I also learned more than I ever wanted to about turf tracks. Time to switch the channel. I briefly ended up on some VH1 reality show with some hot girls walking around practically naked. I kind of wanted to leave it on this show but there was a girl next to me on another eliptical and somehow I felt dirty and sleazy watching this show, as if I was viewing porn in a public place. Next up was SNY, which was airing the Mets first home game after 9/11. As a Mets fan, I miss that team. Fonzie, a juiced up Piazza, Ventura, Bobby V, Bruce Chen...okay, maybe I don't miss Bruce Chen. It was early in the game and it was clear my workout was not going to last until Piazza's epic bomb, so it was time to switch back to Francesa, who must have been on to something different by now. Wrong again. Hammond was still on. And Mike delivered one of his famous "No Question" Questions. What is this you ask? These are questions where Mike asks his guest something, then provides the answer to his own question, then waits for the interview subject to agree with Mike, then follows that up with the words "no question." Today's example was Mike asking Hammond about who a mystery horse was in the Derby, then answering it himself, tossing it to Hammond for him to agree with, then finishing the thought with "no question."

And that's where my patience and workout ran out. I will say that my time on the elliptical did seem to fly by....

TALE OF TWO SHOWS

I tuned into Mad Dog Unleashed around the Two O'clock hour. I didn't listen long, but it was refreshing to hear Chris get fired up about the Celts/Bulls. He was replaying it and constantly saying, "I wouldn't be surprised if the Bulls won on Saturday." His open was fun and energetic. It was a stark contrast to the morbid atmosphere that inhabits Mike'd Up Francesa on the Fan, or MUFF.

Mike briefly touched on Game 6 of the Bulls/Celtics in his open. Even though this series is going down as one of most memorable in history of NBA, Mike must have his qualifiers. He has said that the series at times is 'not well-played' and on the air yesterday with Barkley, he called it 'bizarre'. He conceded that it was a great series, but he has a talent for sucking the positive vibe out of something. He bemoaned the Saturday night game time for game 7 saying, "The NBA is trying to hide their games now." At times like this, I say to myself, 'Is this guy that self-loathing?' I already know the answer.

So while Russo's show probably jetted off into an entertaining 5 hours, Mike got away from the NBA to lead with a very stale topic, the Mets. Of course, once he does this he invites callers who bring up his vendetta against Wright. As a result, the show takes on a negative feel, which permeates the airwaves, depressing the hell out of me. But I guess you reap what you sow.

OMG! This is gonna SUCK!

I am just thinking about what's been going on in the sports world of late and am realizing that today will be a terrifically painful afternoon of radio on the Fan for most of the lurkers of this blog.  Let's list some reasons:

- NYY are on a roll and have their young studs putting up back to back gems.  Mike is going to make Joba and Hughes out to be better than the 2006 versions of Bonderman and Verlander.

- NYM are in a slide and going to Philly for the weekend.  Mike is going to pontificate on the gravity of this series and he'll be egged on by the idiot callers screaming for Wright's departure.  It's enough to make you puke.

- The Kentucky Derby.  A big portion of this show, I bet, will be dedicated to "the most exciting two minutes in sports" today.  Mike will be spouting off about mudders, speed horses and closers all day.  He'll handicap the race and name drop for hours.  It's enough to make you puke. 

- CHI/BOS series is going to a 7th game.  I don't watch much NBA but this series has certainly caught my attention.  OT games, scraps, momentum shifts and the like have made this series very interesting.  Sadly, we won't get analysis from Mike as he'll only be bemoaning his being "totally wrong on this one" over and over again.  We got it Mike, you whiffed this one.  It's no big deal.  If you didn't fire Sal, on the spot, after he declared D. Wade the best player in the NBA, I suppose we should cut you some slack as the NBA is clearly not your area of expertise.  

- M from M will definitely get a call in there today.

So, that's what I think we have to look forward to today.  Full disclosure:  I think horse racing is stupid but I will watch the Derby and I'll wager on it.  It's only two effin minutes, after all.  The rest of this show is basically par for the course.  Yankees are coming on strong and the Mets are choking.  This is nothing new but it will also allow Mike to sweep to ARod stories under the carpet.  That works for me because that story is boring, Selena Roberts is a hack and the Daily News wishes it were The Post.

OK...Let's se how this show shakes out.  As I think about it, Barkley may make an appearance and that's usually a pretty good spot.